I got it.
Ya boi walks into meet the gentlemen of the board of (insert any media company besides the M O U S E):
*ahem* *rolls down screen and film reel sounds*
"Lovecraftian SuperMormon Fallout with Victorian Sensibilities GrindhouseHammer 40k."
"In the coked-out, Cultist-infested, sideways-past-future of 1976, there is only the C H U C K Man and W O R M. And crippled religious tycoons getting tossed off zeppelins by their sons in what is most definitely not an expose of the author's personal feelings about his own childhood. Also, F L U I D S and P O C K E T B A C O N and C O N G O S E A."
Everyone in the room: "I have so many questions. None of them have sane answers. What madness is this?"
Me: "That's exactly what it is!" *Finger guns*
*Fifteen hours later*
"And THAT is when the President is visited by a possibly nonexistent alien space angel demonic entity that tells him to murder his son. Also, by the way, action figures! We're talking twelve-inch, six-inch, Aaron Burr plushies, the works. I want a Charles Goodyear blimp playset with bannister breaking action and maybe a Nerf contract to produce L I B E R T Y T O R C H E S. Anyway, now back to Billy Graham, future prophet and son of a warlock--" *gets shot by disgruntled executive*
I love this timeline. Lol