Alt Armstrong first step speech

dilbert719

Most of the good serious ones have been taken, alas.

"One small step... ensuring that I will never have to buy a beer again."
 

aktarian

"Motherf**ker! Ow Jesus Christ I banged my shin and it hurts like son of a bitch. Goddamn piece of shit, which f**king idiot put that box there?"
 

Geordie

I have a friend who is part of a comedy double act. They've done a wonderful Armstrong sketch, which sadly isn't available on Youtube. The gist of it is that there's an incredibly long speech from an Armstrong with some serious Daddy issues:

"You said I'd never amount to anything? Look at me now, Pa! I'm on the fricking Moon! You've never made it to New York!"

"Yeah, you're right, it's just one small step. Any men can make a small step off a ladder. But I'm stepping onto the Moon, Dad! It's one small step for (a) man, but a giant leap for mankind."

"The whole world is watching this no good nobody on the TV. Are you happy now Dad?"

After a couple of burbles and beeps, my friend's partner's voice comes from off-stage.

"Neil, it's a bit long, but we can edit it down. Houston out." :D
 

SunDeep

Banned
"That's... Oh God, my suit's leaking! Can't- breathe..."
"I'm sorry, but we appear to be having technical difficulties."
 

MattII

Geordie said:
I have a friend who is part of a comedy double act. They've done a wonderful Armstrong sketch, which sadly isn't available on Youtube. The gist of it is that there's an incredibly long speech from an Armstrong with some serious Daddy issues:
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I thought it was Edwin who had issues with his father.
 

Geordie

MattII said:
I thought it was Edwin who had issues with his father.
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To be honest, I don't think Rob and Ed had researched them at all: they just thought of a funny thing they could do, based on Armstrong's OTL most famous words. Obviously, they deliver the scene an awful lot better than I can over a keyboard, but the audience lapped it up.
 

miguelrj

MattII said:
"I'd like to spend a moment to remember all of those people, dead and alive who made this possible, not just the scientists and engineers responsible for these marvellous machines, and our predecessors who tested them, but also to the politicians and citizens who gave us their backing, and to the poets and authors who gave us all the ability to dream, the strive to better ourselves, to all of those people I say thank you."
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"... Furthermore... No, no! Stop the music! I'm not done with the acceptance speech!"

Sigma7 said:
"I honestly have no idea what to aspire to now. I'm walking on the ****ing moon! Where do I go from here?!"
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Mars.
 
Derek Pullem

Derek Pullem

Donor
"Cut!"

DISCLAIMER: This post was intended to be comedic and I in no way support the ludicrous idea that the moon landings were staged:D
 

MattII

Salamander said:
We boldly go where no man has gone before.
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"You know, I kind of want to do the opening speech to Star Trek, but that would be pretty cliched".

"Houston, you're not going to believe this, but I'm looking at a blue box with a sign on the top that says 'police public call box', any clue as to what it is?"
 
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