With that PoD, might the Kosovar declaration of independence be butterflied altogether? Could a reconciliation program of some sort (think "truth and reconciliation") instituted by Đinđić keep Kosovo as an autonomous entity within Serbia à la Vojvodina? Or is the damage simply too much for the Kosovars to push for anything other than independence?
I don't think there is any way the Kosavar Albanians would agree to anything short of independence in 2003. I don't think independence would be butterflied away, maybe delayed a few years (maybe). By 2003 the Kosavars were not going to accept any sort of federation with Serbia unless (and this is highly, highly unlikely IMO) there was some agreement to a referendum on independence in the near future (like what we saw in South Sudan). Can't see Đinđić agreeing to that, but let's say somehow there is a "new Yugoslavia" formed, where Kosovo is a partner with Serbia in a very, very loose federation. They agree that they will not declare independence from this federation untill, lets say 2013 9or in ten years) upon which they will be allowed to hold a referendum. Đinđić agrees that the Serbs will respect the results of the referendum regardless of the result. Maybe then there would be a Federation of Serbia and Kosovo. This could work since it give both sides something they can use:
1. Kosovo would get Serbian recognition in 10 years.
2. Đinđić could get EU membership and Đinđić won't have to deal with the fallout for at least ten years and by then he might be out of office (a common politicial way to deal with a sticky problem).
But I still doubt it would work. Problem with this scenario is (1) for Serbs, it will seem like Đinđić sold out the country. Even with a 10 year delay, Serbs will see it as selling Kosovo for EU memebership. And when Serbia does get admitted to the EU they would discover the same thing the Slovaks and Romanians and Bulgarians discovered: EU membership is not a magic wand that will fix all their problems. This will create a lot of tension and could lead to a right wing revival in the next election on a platform of rejecting the EU deal over Kosovo. Which leads to the big problem for the Kosovars: they need to trust that nothing will happen in ten years to cause the parties to renig on the terms of the agreement. They would need to trust that the Serbs would honor the deal in ten years (which will be hard to promise since the opposition Radical party will never agree to honor that provision, and probably would make that the platform of their campaign when they run) and they would need to feel certain that NATO and the EU won't just keep pushing the deadline back (they would fear a scenario where the EU allows the Serbs to push the referendum back to 2015. Then to 2018. Then to...). As a result I just don't see this scenario happening either, although I suppose it is possible that it could...