A/N: Hello everyone, it's been yet another hiatus for me, but I'm back with another Chapter. This will be something shorter to tide people over as I work on writing the next Chapter. But this is no less important. I hope you all enjoy this little stop-gap.
The Speech
The following is a tale told in many a history, though whether it is true or not is a question that has been discussed for decades, a question that is discussed and debated heavily to this very day...
One night during Honorius' early tenure, it was said he sat down with Luccius by the campfire. It was a starless night and most of the soldiers had already settled down for the night, only a few still awake by their fires. During the late hours of the night, on one of the late nights of the year, Honorius had finally gathered up the courage to ask the older boy about and issue that had been pressing upon the child for a long time.
Sitting on old, dry logs under the pitch black sky, Honorius asked his question.
"Why do you not like me?"
This drew the attention of the young man, who's gaze moved away from the flames for the first time in almost an hour.
Honorius continued, "I consider you something of my older brother, someone I look up to, someone I want to be like. But every time I try to do anything with you, you always look so resentful of me, like you hate me? What did I do to make you hate me?" The boy asked in a sombre tone.
Luccius took a moment to reflect before he answered, his eyes weary yet still, "Your face. You look like your dad too much."
Honorius looked up at the older boy, "My dad? What does my dad have to do with this?"
"...Nevermind, forget what I said" Luccius answered hastily.
Silence fell over the two, choking the atmosphere in a thick fog of tension and awkwardness. It was Luccius that decided to break the silence, asking a question of his own. "Why do insist on being around me? Why do insist on clinging to me like some sort of dog?"
Honorius was surprised that Luccius would ask a question like that, "W-What do you-" he stammered, before Lucius cut him off.
"You know what I mean." Luccius declared decisively, "You have a family to turn to. A father, a mother, even an older brother. So why do you continue to insist on clinging to me?"
Honorius shrunk back a bit as he answered dourly, "I know, but-"
Luccius kept his gaze on Honorius, waiting for an answer.
"But I can never talk to father, he's always so busy with work, with "Trying to keep the pieces together", mother mostly focuses on Julia these days, and Theo-"
Honorius paused, taking a moment to collect himself before he continued speaking, "Theo might be older than me, but most of the time, I feel as if I have to be the older brother, that I have to protect him from others, because he can't even protect himself, that I have to support him and be there for his emotions and his problems," by this point, the tears had really began to well up behind Honorius' eyes, "I just want someone who will listen to me, who will tell me it's OK."
Luccius, for the first time in a long time, was truly taken aback. Not much phased him, not after all that he had already done and experienced. But here he was faced with a truth he had had yet to deal with. For so long, he had viewed Honorius as little more than a spoiled prince, a boy that have been handed luxury because of his birth. For the first time, Luccius saw something new in the boy, yet something so familiar at the same time.
He saw a scared, crying child.
After a moment of contemplation, the only sound being Honorius' barely contained sobs, the soldier asked another question. "What are your views on God?"
This seemingly odd question shook Honorius from his sadness immediately, "God?"
"Yes, God." Luccius repeated.
Honorius thought carefully about what he wanted to say. In truth, he was neither inclined towards Paganism or Christianity at this stage in his life, not having been raised with the same levels of forced devotion to the church as his mother had, a decision by his father as an effort to continue and reconcile the old Pagan tradition with the new Christian one. That said, he knew religion was a sensitive subject for many, so he wanted to be careful about what he said.
"God is... God is good, God wants to make sure we make our own paths in life and do what we feel is right." Honorius responded in almost rehearsed fashion.
Luccius didn't buy it for a second. "Is that what you really think? Or is that what you've been told to think?"
Honorius was too embarrassed to respond.
Sighing, Luccius asked yet another question, "Do you want to know what I think of God?"
Again, Honorius stayed silent.
"I think God test us, wants to see what we'll do, what role he can make us play in the game of life. He may care, for some of us at least. He may have mercy, even compassion, for those he deems worthy of it, for those he favours. But for other, he shows his darker side, his cruelty, his ego, his bloodlust.
Some he wants to be the hero, to overcome struggle, or to not struggle at all. They are his hope, his drive manifested upon our land, there to make that land a better place than it was found, according to his designs. They are the ones given a chance, given all they'll ever need to succeed in life, the ones with everything.
Others, he wants to be the villain. The ones who's only interaction with his divine wisdom is having their homes burned to ash, and their families burned along with it. The ones who can only bring destruction and death, because it is all they've ever known. The gentle hand of a mother, the inspiration and aspiration of a father, they are all but distant memory to these people. They are the ones given nothing they don't take for themselves, they are his wroth and hatred upon the lands they encounter. They were put in the story of life to burn everything to ash, just like the homes they knew so long ago.
...
Whether I am hero or villain, I know not. I would like to say I am a hero, yet I know I am likely not.
...
I do know one thing, that I am God's vengeance, that I was put upon the earth to destroy those that seek domination, and those that stand against me.
So be it.
If that's what I must be, then that is what I am. I am the Vengeance of God. I am his Justice.
I am God's Black Heart, and I will purge this world of those that seek to use this world for their own selfish conquests."
He leaned forward as he addressed Honorius directly, "So, my liege, do you think I, of all people, am someone worthy of any kind of reverence?"
Honorius stayed silent.
Luccius stood up, grabbing a cup of stale water that he tossed over the fire to put it out.
"You won't tell anyone of the conversation we had tonight?"
Honorius shook his head.
"Get some rest, you look tired." Were the last words he said to Honorius as he walked back into his tent.