No W-An Alternate 2000s TL

[Lost Freeway]

SECRETARY OF EDUCATION ACCUSED OF CHILD MOLESTATION

New York Times, July 12, 2005

Dennis Hastert, Secretary of Education, has been accused of molesting students during his tenure as a teacher at Yorkville High School in the 1970s.

One of Hastert's alleged victims says that he has bribing his victims with taxpayer money to keep silent throughout his congressional career.

President Santorum has promised to punish Hastert for his crimes, stating that "There is no room for sexual deviants in this administration." Reaction from Congress has been mixed. "On one hand, I fully support Hastert being punished for what he did to those boys" said Representative John Conyers (D-MI). "On the other hand, I know Santorum is gonna take advantage of Hastert's removal to appoint some nutjob."

 

[Unknown]

Like Santorum for not standing by Hastert; OTOH, Conyers has a point...

 

[Lost Freeway]

SANTORUM NOMINATES NEW EDUCATION SECRETARY

Wall Street Journal, July 13, 2005

President Santorum has nominated former law professor Phillip E. Johnson to replace the disgraced Dennis Hastert as Secretary of Education.

Santorum described Johnson, a founding father of the Intelligent Design movement that questions the teaching of evolution in public schools, "a seasoned veteran of the fight against secularism in our nation's schools."

 

[dw93]

And here I thought it couldn't get worse than President Darth Cheney.... I hope Santorum does something impeachable and gets removed from office or at the very least doesn't get elected in his own right in 2008.

 

[Indicus]

And here I thought it couldn't get worse than President Darth Cheney.... I hope Santorum does something impeachable and gets removed from office or at the very least doesn't get elected in his own right in 2008.

His VP is Trent Lott, so if he gets impeached...

 

[dw93]

His VP is Trent Lott, so if he gets impeached...

Well than I'll hope he isn't elected in his own right in 2008.

 

[Lost Freeway]

INDIA'S POPULATION FALLS BELOW 900 MILLION

The Daily Mail, July 13, 2005


Three and a half years after the devastating nuclear war with Pakistan, India's population continues to decline.


According to a recent census by the Indian government, the population has fallen to 890 million people. International observers blame the decline on famine, disease, nuclear fallout, and emigration to escape the repressive military-run regime, which has repeatedly failed to fulfill its promises to step aside and allow democratic elections.

 

[Unknown]

This headline is real ITTL:

http://www.theonion.com/article/indias-top-physicists-develop-plan-to-get-the-hell-29

 

[JasonVoorhees525]

Subscribed. Just found this.

As the saying goes, things can only get worse before they get better. My hope right now is that Santorum is either impeached or assassinated before the '08 election. Unless the U.S. is severely depopulated of secularists due to emigration, there is no way he could win a second term. Seeing as to how this TL appears to be more plausible than Rumsfeldia, he'd be hard-pressed to accomplish Rummy's political rigging and mass murder of dissidents as well.

And you destroyed Erasure, you bastard. That's the worst thing that's happened in this TL so far.

 

[Jack Hawksmoor]

I've tried to keep track of this timeline but comments usually seem longer than the updates itself and it is hard to differentiate between story posts and comments LF makes.

This makes it quite annoying to 'chase' the story over multiple pages.

I've quoted all of the 'story' posts so far to have it all in one place for ease of reading.

BUSH KILLED IN CAR CRASH EN ROUTE TO REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION

CNN, August 1, 2000

Texas Governor and Republican Party Presidential Candidate George W. Bush died last night in Philadelphia after his limousine was T-Boned at an intersection by a drunk driver in a pickup while en route to the Republican National Convention. Bush was taken to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead at 1:30 AM.

Bush was expected to win the candidacy at the convetion. His death has cast the convention's outcome into doubt.

GEORGE W BUSH LAID TO REST

Wall Street Journal, August 5, 2000

George W. Bush, the late Governor of Texas and 2000 Republican Presidential Candidate hopeful, was laid to rest today in the state capital of Austin. Attending the funeral was Bush's father, former president George H.W. Bush, his mother Barbara, his brothers Jeb, Neil, and Marvin, his sister Dorothy, his widow Laura, and his daughters Jenna and Barbara. A surprise guest was incumbent President Bill Clinton. Clinton attended in a show of sympathy towards his former political rival.

MCCAIN NOMINATED BY RNC

New York Times, August 3, 2000

After four nights of voting, the Republican National Convention has nominated John McCain as the Republican candidate for the presidential election. McCain's nomination comes on the heels of the death of George W. Bush. Bush had been expected to win the nomination before his untimely death in a traffic accident en route to the convention. McCain's nomination was an accident-he had actually formally withdrew from the race in March, and had released his convention delegates to Bush before the latter's death.

For his running mate, McCain has selected Richard Cheney, former Secretary of Defense under President George H.W. Bush.

FIRST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE HELD IN BOSTON

Washington Post, October 3, 2000


DRUNK DRIVER RESPONSIBLE FOR BUSH'S DEATH ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE PRISON

New York Times, October 3, 2000

23-year-old Craig Hartigan of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, the man who caused the death of George W. Bush in a drunk-driving accident, was wounded yesterday when he tried to jump the fence of the Philadelphia County Jail. Hartigan, having been held without bond since the accident, attempted to take advantage of a disturbance in the prison yard to make his escape. Unfortunately for him, an eagle-eyed guard spotted Hartigan attempting to climb the fence and shot him once in the back.

Commenting on the incident, Bush's brother Marvin said "If I were that guard, I would've shot the chump in the head. He made a willful decision to drive while intoxicated, knowing full well he could kill somebody."

USS FORRESTAL MUSEUM INC. CLOSER TO GOAL

Baltimore Sun, October 8, 2000

The supercarrier USS Forrestal is one step closer to being preserved as a floating museum, according to the organization dedicated to saving her.

The USS Forrestal Museum Inc. has noted a sharp increase in donations towards their goal. This has been attributed to the candidacy of John McCain, who served on Forrestal in the Vietnam War in the late 1960s.

FINAL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE HELD IN ST. LOUIS

Washington Post, October 17, 2000

MCCAIN ELECTED 43RD PRESIDENT

New York Times, November 8, 2000

The American people have spoken-John McCain has won the presidential election, carrying 34 states and winning 301 electoral votes.

I, John McCain, do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

John McCain's inaugural oath, January 20, 2001.

OVER 600 DEAD IN JAPAN MID-AIR COLLISION

Japan Times, February 1, 2001

Two Japanese airliners collided near the city of Yaizu yesterday, resulting in the deaths of all onboard both planes.

Japan Airlines Flight 907, a Boeing 747 en route from Tokyo to Naha, collided with Japan Airlines Flight 958, a McDonnell-Douglas DC-10 en route to Tokyo from Busan, South Korea. A total of 677 people were on the flights. All were confirmed to have died in the collision, surpassing the Tenerife Disaster as the deadliest aircraft accident in history.

The two planes came down in the Pacific Ocean close to Yaizu. The recovery of debris and human remains is ongoing. Divers have been dispatched to find the black boxes.

US NAVY CLOSES THE SALE OF FORRESTAL

Washington Post, September 3, 2001

Today the United States Navy announced that it has finalized the sale of USS Forrestal to the USS Forrestal Museum Inc.

The old carrier is most famous for being the ship on which President McCain briefly served during Vietnam. McCain was onboard Forrestal when she suffered a fire in July 1967 that left 134 men dead. McCain, who was in his A-4 Skyhawk on the flight deck when the fire started, narrowly escaped.

"Eh..... We have some planes. Just stay quiet, and you'll be okay. We are returning to the airport"

Transmission from American Airlines Flight 11, 08:21, September 11, 2001


"This just in. You are looking at obviously a very disturbing live shot there. That is the World Trade Center, and we have unconfirmed reports this morning that a plane has crashed into one of the towers of the World Trade Center. CNN Center right now is just beginning to work on this story, obviously calling our sources and trying to figure out exactly what happened, but clearly something relatively devastating happening this morning there on the south end of the island of Manhattan. That is once again, a picture of one of the towers of the World Trade Center."

Carol Lin, CNN News


"At the time of the September 11 attacks, President McCain was giving a speech at the dedication of the USS Forrestal Museum in Baltimore. After being informed that two planes had crashed into the World Trade Center, McCain immediately boarded Marine One, which had been parked on the flight deck of Forrestal, and departed for Washington DC. The flight took 13 minutes.

Now, when Marine One attempted to land on the White House lawn, the flight crew-apparently under intense pressure due to the circumstances-botched the final approach and entered a vortex ring state, causing the helicopter to stall and crash. All onboard were killed, including President McCain."

Testimony of former Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld to the Sotomayor Commission, November 29, 2011


MCCAIN KILLED IN HELICOPTER CRASH, VP CHENEY SWORN IN AS PRESIDENT

New York Times, September 11, 2001

"My fellow Americans, I am saddened to announce that President McCain has died in a helicopter crash. So far, no evidence has emerged connecting the crash to the attacks that have just happened to our nation.

Although I never expected to ascend to the highest office in the land under these circumstances, I will do my duty as required of me. Together, we will find the people responsible for the cowardly attack on our people and bring them to justice."

President Richard Cheney's address to the nation, September 11, 2001

ISLAMIC TERRORISTS ATTACK JAMMU AND KASHMIR STATE GOVERNMENT

Times of India, October 1, 2001

"The men who planned and perpetrated the attacks on September 11 had been in America for a year. It was the failure of our intelligence and law enforcement agencies that allowed them to succeed. To ensure terrorists cannot plot against us under our noses again, I am creating the Department of Domestic Security. If you are a law-abiding American citizen, you have nothing to fear. But those who plot against our nation and our way of life would do well to watch out, because we will find you."

President Cheney, October 3, 2001

"The time has come to wage a war against Pakistan and to bomb the militant training camps there. We are running out of patience."


Farooq Abdullah, chief minister of Jammu and Kashmir, October 4, 2001, in a speech commemorating the victims of the October 1 attack.


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2001_Jammu_and_Kashmir_legislative_assembly_attack#cite_note-8

US BEGINS BOMBING AFGHANISTAN

Wall Street Journal, October 7, 2001

"For far too long, the people of Afghanistan have suffered under a totalitarian regime that purports to carry out the will of their god. Today, we end that tyranny and prepare the way for a free Afghanistan."

President Cheney's address to the nation announcing the invasion of Afghanistan.

PRESIDENT CHENEY SIGNS PATRIOT ACT INTO LAW

New York Times, October 26, 2001

"This act represents the worst infringement on American freedoms since the Sedition Act of 1918."

Former California governor Jerry Brown

"What weak-willed liberals like Brown fail to understand is that in these extraordinary circumstances, drastic measures must be taken to ensure the security of our nation."

Representative Jim Sensenbrenner(R-WI)

AMERICAN AIRLINES JET CRASHES IN QUEENS

New York Times, November 12, 2001

An airliner crashed in Southern Queens mere minutes after takeoff, resulting in the deaths of all on board.

American Airlines Flight 587, an Airbus A300, took off from JFK International Airport on a flight from New York City to Santo Domingo with 260 passengers and crew. Less than five minutes later, the plane lied in burning pieces in a Queens neighborhood, all occupants dead.

The crash was witnessed by hundreds of people. Many reported that they saw a fire or explosion on the plane before it hit the ground.

Coming two months after the September 11 attacks, there is widespread fear that the crash of AA587 is an act of terrorism.

"After a preliminary investigation, we now have unassailable evidence that American 587 was brought down by an act of terrorism."

President Cheney, December 19, 2001


"What can you tell us about the investigation of American Airlines Flight 587?"

"Well, terrorism was strongly suspected, so the FBI was sent to assist us in the investigation."

"What did you find?"

"We found the vertical stabilizer in Jamaica Bay, a few miles away from the impact site. Examination of the stabilizer, combined with evidence from the black boxes, revealed that it had separated from the plane during takeoff, causing the pilots to lose control of the aircraft and crash."

"And what did the Cheney Administration do with this information?"

"They came up with a fanciful narrative about a bomb on board exploding and damaging the control systems, causing the plane to yaw and roll uncontrollably until the stabilizer broke off. All evidence contradicting this narrative was suppressed. The real cause of the structural failure-the first officer aggressively working the rudder pedals in response to turbulence encountered during the climb-was explained away as a reaction to the loss of control caused by the bomb."

"How do you explain the witness testimony that seemed to point to a bomb?"

"Human memory isn't perfect. In hectic events like a plane crash, people may either forget or outright fabricate details."
"What was the administration's motive for covering up the truth?"

"Simple. Whipping up public opinion for the President's agenda after 9/11. I believe the idea came from a certain right-wing website called WorldNetDaily, which was aggressively pushing the terrorism angle in the days after the crash. Someone in the administration found the site and its theories and relayed it to Cheney, who decided to run with it."

Testimony of Marion Blakey, former NTSB chairman, to the Sotomayor Commission, November 27, 2011.


The saga of American Airlines Flight 587 represents the betrayal of air safety by politics. By spinning a tale of terrorism and hiding the true cause, the American government prevented investigators from finding crucial flaws in the Airbus A300's design. Had the true cause of the accident been revealved, the crashes of Lufthansa Flight 1911 and Air Transat Flight 499 from similar causes may have been averted.

Mary Schiavo, Irresponsibility: How Politics Trumped Truth In The American 587 Investigation

...and what a doozy it is.

PARLIAMENT OF INDIA ATTACKED BY ISLAMIC TERRORISTS

Times of India, December 13, 2001

A shocking attack was carried out on the Parliament today by Islamic fundamentalist terrorists.

A car bearing Home Ministry and Parliament stickers drove into the parking lot of the Parliament building shortly before noon. Five armed men got out and starting firing at MPs as they exited the building. At least eight MPs were killed in the gunfire, and dozens more wounded. Parliament security and police returned fire, killing all five gunmen.

The perpetrators of the attack are suspected to have been members of Jaish-e-Mohammed, whose stated goal is uniting the Muslim-majority Indian State of Kashmir with Pakistan.


"We have clear and convincing evidence that the perpetrators of this attack received assistance from elements within the government of Pakistan."

Atal Vajpayee, Prime Minister of India, December 14, 2001


INDIA AND PAKISTAN MOVE MORE TROOPS TO BORDER

Washington Post, December 15, 2001


FIREFIGHT BREAKS OUT ON INDUS RIVER

Times of India, December 19, 2001


INDIA DECLARES WAR ON PAKISTAN

New York Times, December 19, 2001


INDIAN ARMY BEGINS DRIVE TO LAHORE

The Telegraph, December 20, 2001


"We have received reports of a nuclear explosion just a few miles north of the city of Lahore."

Lester Holt, NBC News, December 21, 2001


"Just a few minutes ago, Pakistani forces in the Dadarili pass were annihilated by a nuclear weapon dropped by an Indian Air Force Mirage 2000."

Shepard Smith, Fox News, December 21, 2001


"The city of Srinagar has just been vaporized by an atomic explosion. More ballistic missiles detected inbound heading for Indian cities. New Delhi has given the go-ahead for a full nuclear strike on Pakistan"

Indian military message, December 21, 2001


"The US Geological Survey has detected seismic activity on the Indian subcontinent consistent with multiple nuclear detonations."

USGS announcement, December 21, 2001

"They did it! The sons of bitches actually did it!"

President Cheney, upon being informed of the Indo-Pakistani nuclear exchange, December 21, 2001


"Abolish nuclear weapons now! Before what happened to South Asia happens to the rest of the planet!"

CND protester in London, December 23, 2001

CHENEY: So what's the situation on the subcontinent right now?

RUMSFELD: Well, Pakistan is a complete and total ruin. President Pervez Musharraf is believed to be dead, along with most of the top government and military officials. A gajillion different surviving military officers are laying claim to the Presidency, but with nearly all of Pakistan's major cities and infrastructure destroyed, there's not much for them to claim.

CHENEY: And India?

RUMSFELD: Slightly better. The south is relatively intact-Hyderabad was the southernmost city to be targeted. Most of the north, on the other hand, is a blasted hellhole. The rule of law in those parts is nonexistent, with people murdering each other over things like food and medicine. It's gotten so bad that the emergency junta now ruling the country out of Chennai has declared everything north of the 20th parallel no-man's-land.

CHENEY: How are the neighbors reacting?

RUMSFELD: Iran has closed their border with Pakistan to keep refugees out. Nepal and Bangladesh have done the same. But what worries us most is China. The People's Liberation Army has already begun moving into Arunachal Pradesh. The Chennai government has raised protests, but they aren't in much shape to do anything else.

Conversation between President Cheney and Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld, December 28, 2001.

DEBRIS FROM LOST AIRLINER WASHES UP ON NANTUCKET

New York Times, December 30, 2001

Residents of Nantucket have reported airplane parts washing up on their beaches. Authorities believe these parts belong to American Airlines Flight 63, a Boeing 767 that disappeared over the Atlantic en route from Paris to Miami on December 22 with 197 people onboard.

The parts, consisting of a piece of aileron, the rudder, and a landing gear strut, have been sent to the NTSB to confirm whether or not they came from the missing aircraft.

Iran-Pakistan Border, December 31, 2001

Tahir kept his eyes on the road as he drove the VIP towards the border crossing. Though the Iranian government had a policy of keeping refugees out, they had a vested interest in this particular refugee.

The man in question was currently fast asleep in the back seat of Tahir's sedan. He looked very ragged.

"I don't know why the Ministry of Intelligence sent us to extract this man" said Tahir's partner Massound.

"He has great knowledge in certain fields that we need" replied Tahir.

"But he's a Sunni" said Massoud. "How can we trust him?"

"We've worked him before" said Tahir. "Besides, Ayatollah Khomeini himself said that Shiites and Sunnis should put aside their quarreling to better stand against enemies of Islam."

As they drove up to the checkpoint, Tahir and Massoud flashed their IDs at the guards, who nodded and let the sedan through.

Tahir brought the car to a stop in a town a few miles down the road. He and Massoud got out, went around to the back, and roused the sleeping VIP. As the man stepped out, Tahir shook his hand.

"Welcome to Iran" said Tahir. "Mr. Khan."

"Please" said the VIP. "Call me AQ."

PRESIDENT CHENEY SUFFERS HEART ATTACK DURING NEW YEARS CELEBRATIONS

Washington Post, January 1, 2002

President Cheney was rushed to the hospital last night after suffering a heart attack during White House New Year celebrations.

Vice President Colin Powell, who has assumed presidential duties while Cheney recuperates in hospital, has assured reporters that the President is currently in stable condition and on the road to recovery.

PRESIDENT ORDERS RENEWED INVESTIGATION INTO TWA 800

New York Times, January 15, 2002

President Cheney has ordered a second investigation into the 1996 crash of TWA Flight 800. The president, who is currently convalescing at his home in the Wyoming countryside, said "We believe that critical details about the crash were ignored by the original investigators."

TWA 800, a Boeing 747 en route from New York City to Paris, crashed off the coast of Long Island on July 17, 1996. All 230 people on board were killed. The initial NTSB investigation, which took four years, concluded that an explosion in the plane's fuel tank caused by faulty wiring had caused the crash.

Despite the NTSB's conclusion, some believe the plane was actually brought down by terrorism. Now, it seems that those people have a voice in President Cheney.

INDIAN EMERGENCY GOVERNMENT CRITICIZED FOR HARSH MEASURES

The Guardian, January 21, 2002

One month after India was devastated in a nuclear exchange with Pakistan, its emergency military regime has attracted criticism for its draconian approach to maintaining order.

With most of India's civilian leadership having perished in the exchange, a cadre of military officers have established a junta headed by Chief of Army Staff Sundararajan Padmanabhan.

To maintain law and order in the regions still under government control, the junta has instituted harsh measures. Strict rationing of food, water and shelter has been implemented. Serious criminal offenses such as murder or sexual assault are dealt with by summary execution. In addition, criticism of the government is a criminal offense, along with unsanctioned gatherings of people, resulting in summary imprisonment. A strict curfew has been implemented across the nation, with violators being shot on sight.

British Prime Minister Tony Blair has called the Indian junta's measures "excessively authoritarian." Padmanabhan responded by saying "It's easy to pass judgement when you haven't experienced what we have for yourself."

NORTHWEST PAKISTAN "TALIBAN COUNTRY"

Wall Street Journal, February 1, 2002

After the disintegration of Pakistan's central government in last December's nuclear exchange, the northwestern part of the country has come under increasing control of the Taliban.

Having been driven from power in Afghanistan, the Taliban have taken advantage of the collapse of Pakistan and have managed to gain control over the rural tribal regions near the Afghan-Pakistani border. This presents a thorn in the side of American and Coalition forces in Afghanistan. The biggest fear is that the Taliban could get their hands on what's left of Pakistan's nuclear arsenal, a nightmare scenario for the West.

CAR BOMB EXPLODES AT MOSQUE IN DEARBORN

Detroit Free Press, February 8, 2002

A car bomb went during Friday services at a mosque in Dearborn, Michingan, killing 10 people.

The bombing is thought to be part of a wave of anti-Muslim hate crimes occurring in the aftermath of 9/11.

President Cheney has condemned these crimes. "The vast majority of American Muslims are decent, freedom-loving people who are just as horrified by the actions of Islamic terrorists as the rest of us" he said in a press conference in Dearborn. "To resort to attacking innocent, non-terrorist Muslims is to sink as low as the terrorists themselves."

VENEZUELAN PRESIDENT OVERTHROWN IN COUP

New York Times, April 11, 2002

Hugo Chavez, the colorful and controversial president of Venezuela, has been overthrown in a military coup.

Chavez, who was elected to the presidency in 1999, has stirred up intense opposition due to his socialist policies. The rebelling officers have vowed to "undo the damage" caused by Chavez's so-called mismanagement.

CHENEY: We have solid evidence that the crash of TWA Flight 800 was an act of terrorism, and that the Clinton administration conspired to cover it up.

REPORTER: But why would the government want to cover up an attack on American citizens?

CHENEY: It was an election year. Exposing the vulnerability of America to terrorism would have been detrimental to Clinton's re-election campaign.

White House press conference, April 12, 2002

CIVIL WAR ERUPTS IN VENEZUELA

The Daily Mirror, April 13, 2002

Widespread fighting has broken out between supporters of deposed Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez and the military junta. Chavez, who has escaped to Cuba with, has called on the people of Venezuela to resist the "reactionaries" running the junta.

BILL INTRODUCED IN CONGRESS TO BAN "OBJECTIONABLE" VIDEO GAMES

Wall Street Journal, April 14, 2002

A bill has been introduced in Congress to ban the production and sale of video games with "objectionable" content. The Video Game Content Regulation Act, introduced by Representative Jim Sensenbrenner(R-WI), calls for the banning of any game with "gratuitous violence, sexual themes, or other morally questionable content." Critics note that the bill, if signed into law, would outlaw all video games rated higher than "T" by the ESRB.

ARGUMENT IN UN OVER NORTHEAST INDIA

New York Times, April 14, 2002

A heated argument took place in the United Nations over China's occupation of Northeast India.

Kamalesh Sharma, Permanent Representative for India, accused China of muscling in on rightful Indian territory. Wang Yingfan, Permanent Representative for China, retorted by saying that China was simply there to keep the peace, which India was incapable of.

The People's Republic of China moved into the region after the nuclear exchange between India and Pakistan last December, taking advantage of India's retreat south of the 20th parallel.

Don't worry, the far northeast-the part between Bangladesh and Myanmar-managed to avoid getting nuked.

PRESIDENT CALLS FOR EXTENDING OPERATIONS INTO PAKISTAN

Washington Post, April 20, 2002

In a speech to the US Congress, President Cheney has called for boots on the ground in Pakistan.

Ever since the nuclear exchange, parts of Pakistan have come under the sway of the Taliban, who have used the shattered country as a launching point for attacks on Coalition forces in Afghanistan.

In addition to fighting the Taliban, Cheney has also argued a humanitarian responsibility, saying that America should help rebuild Pakistan.

VIDEO GAME CONTENT REGULATION ACT KILLED IN HOUSE

New York Times, April 21, 2002

The Video Game Content Regulation Act has been killed in the House of Representatives by a vote of 57 to 42. Video game companies everywhere have breathed a sigh of relief. Representative Sensenbrenner has refused to acknowledge defeat, saying he will re-introduce the bill when "the American people have elected more friendly voices."

FORTUYN WOUNDED IN ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

De Telegraaf, May 6, 2002

Pim Fortuyn, the controversial author and anti-immigration activist, was wounded while campaigning for his political party.

Fortuyn, who has attracted controversy for his stance on Muslim immigration to the Netherlands, was shot in a parking lot outside a radio station in Hilversum. The shooter was apprehended by Fortuyn's driver.

Afterwards, Fortuyn was rushed to a hospital. Doctors have reported his present condition to be stable.

Northern Sri Lanka, May 15, 2002

Soosai watched the boat approach the shore through his binoculars. Onboard was something very valuable to Soosai and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam.

Although the LTTE had signed a permanent ceasefire with the Sri Lankan government back in February, Soosai had little faith in the promised peace talks. Already, the president of Sri Lanka was putting pressure on the government to concede as little to the Tamils as possible.

That was why Soosai had made a clandestine deal with a sympathetic Indian Army officer. Now, the fruit of that deal was coming ashore...

"We-we have just received word that the city of Colombo, the capital of Sri Lanka, has been destroyed by a nuclear explosion. Casualties are reported to be over 200,000. The President, Prime Minister, all of Parliament, and almost all of the military's top brass are believed to be dead."

Brian Williams, NBC News, May 22, 2002

"God-fucking-dammit!"

President Cheney's reaction to the news of the Colombo attack.

"END ALL NUKES NOW!"

Graffiti by an anonymous protester on the Sri Lankan Embassy building in London.

INDIAN GOVERNMENT VOWS TO PUNISH OFFICER RESPONSIBLE FOR SELLING NUKE

The Guardian, May 24, 2002

PIPE BOMB EXPLODES AT ARLINGTON MOSQUE

Wall Street Journal, May 29, 2002

TAMIL TIGERS DECLARE THEMSELVES GOVERNMENT OF SRI LANKA

The Daily Mail, May 29, 2002

The Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam, taking advantage of the disintegration of the Sri Lankan government, have declared themselves to be the legitimate government of the island nation.

The LTTE has vowed to right the wrongs done to Sri Lanka's Tamil population over the past decades.

COALITION FORCES EXTEND OPERATIONS TO PAKISTAN

New York Times, May 30, 2002

"I am against sending American troops to Pakistan. As cold-hearted as it sounds, the Pakistanis brought this mess on themselves and we have no obligation to pull them out of it."

Representative Ron Paul (R-TX), Meet the Press, May 31, 2002

"We have just received word that a light aircraft has crashed into the Israeli embassy in Washington DC."

Sheppard Smith, Fox News, June 1, 2002

IDENTITY OF ISRAELI EMBASSY ATTACK REVEALED

Washington Post, June 8, 2002

The identity of the pilot who crashed his plane into the Israeli embassy has been revealed as 31 year-old José Padilla. The identification was made based on dental records.

Padilla, a convert to Islam, had recently come under scrutiny by the US government due to suspected association with Al-Qaeda.

The plane, a Piper Cherokee, belong to the flight school that Padilla was taking lessons from at the time of the crash.

Nobody besides Padilla was killed in the crash, but several people have been treated for smoke inhalation from the post-crash fire.

"José Padilla was a great man for standing up to the Zionist thugs. He gave his life in service to the Palestinian struggle for freedom."

Hamas statement, June 9, 2002


"Utter garbage."

Ariel Sharon, Prime Minister of Israel, in response to the above statement.

US SENATE WITHDRAWS FROM 1972 ABM TREATY

Wall Street Journal, June 13, 2002

MORE DEBRIS, BODIES, FOUND FROM MISSING AIRLINER

New York Times, June 16, 2002

Search teams have reported more debris from American Airlines Flight 63. Pieces of fuselage skin were found drifting in the north Atlantic.

But more importantly, bodies have been found that are believed to be that of passengers from the missing plane. The bodies will be sent to New York City for identification.

UN DELIEVERS ULTIMATUM TO IRAQ

Wall Street Journal, November 8, 2002

The United Nations Security Council has approved Resolution 1441, calling for Iraq to give up their weapons of mass destruction or face grave consequences.

The resolution is the latest aimed at Iraq, which has been suspected to harbor WMDs since the early 1980s.

"We will not agree to terms imposed on us by foreign aggressors."

Saddam Hussein, President of Iraq, November 9, 2002


"Dammit, those bastards really want to make this difficult, don't they?"

President Cheney, in response to Hussein's statement.

PRESIDENT URGES MILITARY INTERVENTION AGAINST IRAQ.

Washington Post, November 10, 2002

IRAQI NATIONAL ASSEMBLY FORMALLY REJECTS UN RESOLUTION 1441

Wall Street Journal, November 13, 2002


USS CONSTELLATION DEPLOYED TO PERSIAN GULF

New York Times, November 15, 2002

USS CONSTELLATION ATTACKED BY IRAQI AIR FORCE BOMBERS

Washington Post, November 15, 2002

The aircraft carrier USS Constellation came under attack in the Persian Gulf by the Iraqi Air Force.


Constellation was operating in support of Operation Southern Watch when she was attacked by three SU-25 fighter-bombers. Two were shot down by Constellation's fighters, while the remaining SU-25 managed to drop a single bomb on the carrier's forward flight deck, causing mild damage.

US DECLARES WAR ON IRAQ

New York Times, November 22, 2002

US NAVY BEGINS BOMBING OF IRAQ

Wall Street Journal, November 23, 2002

US MARINES LAND IN IRAQ

Wall Street Journal, November 28, 2002

LUFTHANSA FLIGHT CRASHES IN FRANCE

The Telegraph, November 28, 2002

A Lufthansa airliner crashed in Southern France, killing all on board.

Lufthansa Flight 1911, an Airbus A300, was en route to Frankfurt from Madrid when it suddenly entered an uncontrolled descent and crashed. All 210 passengers and crew were killed.

The plane's vertical stabilizer, which keeps the plane stable in yaw axis during flight, was found several miles from the main wreckage site, leading investigators to believe that it separated in flight and caused the pilots to lose control.

US FORCES BESEIGE BAGHDAD

New York Times, November 30, 2002

SADDAM HUSSEIN CAUGHT TRYING TO FLEE BAGHDAD

Washington Post, December 7, 2002

Saddam Hussein, the dictator of Iraq, was caught by American forces attempting to flee the city in civilian disguise.


"Now, we can finally serve justice to this brutal autocrat."

President Cheney, announcing news of Saddam's capture.

PRESIDENT ORDERS NEW INVESTIGATION INTO ARROW AIR CRASH

New York Times, December 12, 2002

On the 27th anniversary of a plane crash in Canada that killed members of the 101st Airborne Division, President Cheney has ordered a renewed investigation.

Arrow Air Flight 1285, a McDonnell-Douglas DC-8, was carrying US servicemen on their way home from Egypt when it crashed while taking off on the final leg of its journey in Gander, Newfoundland. All 256 people on board were killed.

The original investigation by the Canadian Aviation Safety Board determined the cause to be ice accumulation on the wings. A minority report, however, claimed the crash was caused by "detonations of unknown origin" on board the plane. Complicating matters, Islamic terrorists claimed credit for downing the plane, a claim that was dismissed by the original investigators.

In a press conference, Cheney said "I am pretty certain that this crash was caused by foul play." A special committee has been formed to carry out the new investigation.

"Next thing you know, Cheney's gonna blame the Space Shuttle Challenger disaster on terrorists."

Jon Stewart, on President Cheney's investigation into the Arrow Air crash.

AUTHORITIES ZERO IN ON AIRLINER CRASH SITE

New York Times, December 22, 2002


One year after American Airlines Flight 63 disappeared over the Atlantic, authorities are getting closer to finding its final resting place.


Based on the distribution of found debris, investigators have narrowed down the crash site to a 100-square mile area southeast of Newfoundland.

VIOLENCE AGAINST INDIAN MUSLIMS AT ALL-TIME HIGH

Wall Street Journal, December 23, 2002

One year after India was devastated by a nuclear war with Pakistan, its Muslim population continues to be scapegoated for the disaster.

Indian Muslims have reported being subjected to harassment and violence from angry Hindus. Making matters worse, many claim that the government has done nothing to help.

When asked about the matter, the Indian emergency junta refused to comment.

AIR FORCE ONE SUFFERS ACCIDENT IN IRAQ

Wall Street Journal, December 24, 2002

President Cheney suffered minor injuries after Air Force One suffered a landing accident in Iraq.

The president was visiting Iraq to check the progress of the war against Islamist insurgents. During the landing at Baghdad airport, his plane came in at too high a landing speed, causing it to careen off the runway. Fortunately, there were no fatalities.

RICIN ATTACK IN LONDON UNDERGROUND

The Guardian, January 5, 2003

The worst act of terrorism in modern British history was carried out today when ricin was released in the London Underground, killing nearly 100 people and injuring hundreds more. Al-Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the attack.

"We stand in solidarity with our British brethren who have been victimized by these barbarians."

President Cheney, in response to the news of the London Underground attack.

SUSPECT IN LONDON UNDERGROUND BOMBINGS APPREHENDED

The Daily Mail, January 14, 2003

Brighton police announced that they have caught one of the perpetrators of the London Underground ricin attack.

Kamel Bourgass, an illegal immigrant from Algeria, was arrested in Brighton after nine days on the run.

The rest of the perpetrators remain at large.

BOMB GOES OFF AT LONDON MOSQUE

The Telegraph, January 17, 2003

A London mosque was the target of a bombing during Friday services, killing 11 people.

Shortly after the explosion, a man calling himself "The Purifier" sent an anonymous letter to police, claiming credit for the bombing. According to the letter, the bombing was retribution for the January 7 attack.

Prime Minister Tony Blair condemned the bombing, saying "Innocent Muslims should not be punished for the crimes of their radical brethren."

BRISTOL MOSQUE TARGET OF CAR BOMB

The Telegraph, January 24, 2003

One week after a London mosque was targeted by a bomber calling himself "The Purifier", authorities believe he has struck again, this time in Bristol.

The Bristol Jamia Mosque was conducting Friday services when a Ford Transit pulled into the parking lot. After the driver, described by witnesses as a white male wearing a hood and sunglasses, got out and walked away, the van exploded.

45 people were killed in the explosion and nearly 100 more were severely injured.

ST PAUL'S CATHEDRAL HIT BY TRUCK BOMB

The Daily Mail, January 26, 2003

St. Paul's Cathedral, the second-largest place of worship in Britain, was hit by a devastating bomb attack during Sunday services.

A white lorry parked outside the cathedral during morning services. Moments after the driver left, the lorry exploded, destroying the west front. 88 people were killed in the blast, and nearly 150 were injured.

PERPETRATOR OF CATHEDRAL BOMBING CAUGHT

The Guardian, January 30, 2003

Four days after the attack on St. Paul's Cathedral, the British government announces that it has captured the person responsible.

28 year-old Mohammad Sidique Khan was captured by Leeds police in his flat. According to police reports, Khan had been preparing to leave the city at the time of his capture.

PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER VICTIM OF ATTACK

New York Times, February 2, 2003

Mary Cheney, the second daughter of President Cheney, was the target of a shocking attack in Denver, Colorado.

Cheney and her partner Heather Poe were eating lunch at McDonald's when a young man, described by witnesses as Pakistani, walked up and shot at them with a handgun. Cheney was wounded in the stomach while Poe was hit in the thigh.

The president, upon hearing of the attack, immediately boarded Air Force One and flew to Colorado to be with his daughter in the hospital. Police are on a manhunt for the shooter.

REVEREND DRAWS FIRE FOR COMMENT ON PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER

Washington Post, February 4, 2002


Two days after Mary Cheney was wounded in a Denver McDonald's, an influential reverend has come under fire for remarks directed at the president's daughter.


Appearing on Fox News, Reverend Jerry Falwell said "I hope this incident compels Ms. Cheney to reconsider her life choices."


Falwell's statement, which is believed to refer to Ms. Cheney's homosexuality, has elicited criticism from both LGBT advocates and some conservatives. Radio host Rush Limbaugh has called the reverend's words "rather insensitive." President Cheney himself has been more blunt, telling a Denver reporter "The only difference between Christian Right folks like Falwell and the Islamists we're currently fighting in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq is that the latter seeks to get their way with bullets while the former tries to get their way with the ballot."

No kidding. Rush actually said in The Way Things Ought To Be that he was perfectly willing to tolerate homosexuals as long as they didn't get too uppity, to paraphrase it.

"President Cheney is totally off-base in comparing us to Al-Qaeda simply because of our stance on homosexuality. We actually give homosexuals a chance to repent and give up their self-destructive ways. Muslims don't-if you're homosexual, they kill you dead without a second thought.”

Scott Lively, in response to President Cheney's remarks on Jerry Falwell.

PERPETRATOR OF ATTACK ON PRESIDENT'S DAUGHTER CAUGHT

Wall Street Journal, February 7, 2003

The man responsible for the attempted murder of Mary Cheney has been caught in Colorado Springs.

23 year-old Faisal Shahzad was arrested in a motel, where he staying under an assumed name.

According to authorities, Shahzad was motivated by anger at both Ms. Cheney's "deviant" lifestyle and the "illegal" American occupation of Pakistan.

PAKISTANI ELECTIONS SCHEDULED FOR MAY

Wall Street Journal, February 10, 2003

President Cheney has announced that elections are to be held in Pakistan this coming May to replace the provisional government set up by the US military that has been governing the county since last June. Said government has been criticized by some as a neo-colonial regime.

9/11 MASTERMIND CAPTURED IN PAKISTAN

New York Times, February 17, 2003

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the suspected mastermind behind the September 11 attacks, was captured by US Navy SEALS in Northern Pakistan.

CRASH SITE OF AA63 FOUND

Washington Post, March 7, 2003

15 months after an American Airlines flight disappeared over the Atlantic, investigators announced that have found the plane's final resting place 700 miles of the coast of Nova Scotia.

Using autonomous underwater vehicles, searchers have found at least three distinct debris fields. This is consistent with a mid-air breakup.

KHALID SHEIKH MOHAMMED: AA63 BROUGHT DOWN BY BOMB

New York Times, March 2, 2003

The downing of American Airlines Flight 63 has been confirmed to be an act of terrorism by the mastermind of 9/11.

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, under interrogation at Guantanamo Bay, told his interrogators that the plane was destroyed by a bomb smuggled on board by Richard Reid, a British national.


The confession of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed regarding the destruction of AA63 was paraded around by the Cheney administration. But more notable was a disaster he didn't take credit for: the crash of American Airlines Flight 587. The fact that Mohammed was silent on this disaster while being quite open on other acts of terrorism committed since 9/11 should have been a red flag to anyone believing the administration's line on that particular disaster.

Mary Schiavo, Irresponsibility: How Politics Trumped Truth In The American 587 Investigation

AA63 BLACK BOXES RECOVERED

New York Times, March 17, 2003

READOUT OF AA63 FDR CONFIRMS EXPLOSION

Wall Street Journal, March 31, 2003

According to the NTSB, the readout of American Airlines Flight 63's flight data recorder confirms reports that the plane was destroyed by a bomb.

In the final seconds before power to the black boxes was lost, the FDR recorded a sudden and rapid loss of cabin pressure consistent with an onboard explosion perforating the fuselage. Investigators have yet to pinpoint the exact location of the explosion.

ELECTIONS HELD IN IRAQ

Wall Street Journal, April 3, 2003

US FORCES DISPATCHED TO VENEZUELA

Washington Post, April 11, 2003


One year after a coup plunged Venezuela into civil war, President Cheney has committed American forces to the Latin American country.


In a press conference, Cheney said the US was intervening in Venezuela to restore peace to the war-torn country. Critics charge that Cheney is simply trying to get his hands on Venezuela's oil.

PRIME MINISTER BLAIR ASSASSINATED

The Telegraph, May 7, 2003

Prime Minister Tony Blair was killed today in the first successful assassination of a sitting Prime Minister in 191 years.

Blair was going on a morning jog in Hyde Park when a Pakistani male walked up and shot him twice in the chest. The shooter, 20 year-old Shehzad Tanweer, was subsequently gunned down by Blair's bodyguards. Despite efforts to resuscitate him, Blair was pronounced dead on the scene.

LABOUR HOLDS EMERGENCY MEETING TO REPLACE BLAIR

The Guardian, May 7, 2003

After the untimely death of Prime Minister Tony Blair, the Labour Party held an emergency leadership election to choose his successor.

Ultimately, Chancellor of the Exchequer Gordon Brown was elected to succeed Blair.

BLAIR'S FUNERAL ROCKED BY PROTESTS

The Daily Mail, May 12, 2003

The funeral of slain Prime Minister Tony Blair was interrupted by protests over the late PM's foreign policy.

As Blair was being laid to rest in his hometown of Durham, several demonstrators gathered to protest British involvement in Afghanistan, Pakistan, and Iraq.

"PURIFIER" RETURNS AFTER FOUR-MONTH SILENCE

The Telegraph, May 16, 2003

Four months after the attack on the Bristol Jamia Mosque, the bomber calling himself "The Purifier" has struck another mosque.

The Croydon Mosque & Islamic Center was conducting Friday services when a black Mercedes-Benz TN panel van pulled into the parking lot. After the driver, described by witnesses as a white male in a grey hooded sweatshirt, walked away, the van exploded.

22 people were killed, and nearly 50 were seriously injured.

SINHALESE: SRI LANKA UNDER LTTE "APARTHEID" STATE

The Guardian, May 22, 2003

One year after the LTTE destroyed Sri Lanka's government and took over the island, Sinhalese citizens report widespread discrimination.

The LTTE, currently the only legal political party, has enforced strict limitations on the rights of the majority Sinhalese while giving preferential treatment to the Tamil minority. International observers have compared the situation to South Africa during the Apartheid era.

"This is an unacceptable situation" says former Sri Lankan ambassador to the UN John De Saram. "Whatever injustices the Tamils may have suffered in the past, it does not excuse what the LTTE is doing now."

In an effort to expand the Tamil population, the LTTE has invited Tamil immigrants from India, which is still suffering the after-effects of the December 2001 exchange.

REVOLUTIONARY GUARD LAUNCHES COUP IN IRAN

New York Times, May 25, 2003

The Army of the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution has launched a coup d'état against the government of Iran, following months of tension.

Iranian president Mohammad Khatami was placed under house arrest at the Sa'dabad Palace in Tehran.

Worryingly, although the Revolutionary Guards claim to acting on the orders of Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, he has not been seen in public since May 20. The Guards claim he is hiding out at an undisclosed location for his protection.

CHINA ACCUSED OF ETHNIC CLEANSING IN NORTHEAST INDIA

Wall Street Journal, May 30, 2003

The People's Republic of China has been driving out Indo-Aryan people from occupied territory in Northeast India, according to refugees from that region.

Ever since the People's Liberation Army moved into the region after the December 2001 nuclear exchange, Indo-Aryan residents have faced harassment from both the Chinese and the native ethnic groups. Many have fled into neighboring Bangladesh, which has eased up on the closing of its border.

The Chinese government has denied these accusations.

SRI LANKA WITHDRAWS FROM UN

The Daily Mail, May 31, 2003

The LTTE-controlled government of Sri Lanka has withdrawn from the United Nations amidst strident criticism of its policies towards the Sinhalese population.

DEMONSTRATORS MASSACRED IN CHENNAI

The Guardian, June 1, 2003

A peaceful protest against the Indian military junta in Chennai turned into a bloodbath when the army opened fire on the unarmed demonstrators.

It all started when several hundred people gathered in the provisional capital to protest the government's repeated delaying of elections. The demonstrators demanded an end to martial law and a return to civilian government. The Indian Army responded by dispatching soldiers and demanding that the demonstrators dispersed. When the demonstrators refused, the Army opened fire on them.

The exact number of casualties is unknown, due to the junta refusing to divulge information, but is estimated to be anywhere from 100 to 500 people killed.

UN CENSURES INDIA FOR CHENNAI MASSACRE

New York Times, June 2, 2003

The United Nations has censured India for yesterday's massacre of demonstrators in Chennai. Secretary-General Kofi Annan called on the Indian government to end its authoritarian rule and allow a civilian government to take control.

Provisional Prime Minister Sundararajan Padmanabhan was unrepentant, calling the victims "violent rioters" and accusing them of threatening the rule of law, in spite of the fact that none of the demonstrators engaged in any acts of violence.

"PURIFIER" CAPTURED IN POOLE

The Telgraph, June 9, 2003

"The Purifier", a far-right terrorist responsible for three mosque bombings, was identified and captured in the town of Poole.

Tim Ablitt, 38, was captured after police received a call from his roommate claiming that Ablitt had owned up to the bombings in a conversation.

A search of Ablitt's computer revealed searches on how to make explosives.

MASSACHUSETTS SUPREME COURT CHIEF JUSTICE MURDERED

Boston Globe, November 23, 2003

Five days after issuing a landmark ruling that granted same-sex couples the right to marry, the chief justice of the Massachusetts Supreme Court was brutally gunned down in her backyard in Boston.

Witnesses say that Margaret H. Marshall was gardening in her back yard when a .308 bullet suddenly struck her in the head. Marshall was pronounced dead on the scene.

No one was able to pinpoint where the shot came from, leading authorities to believe that the shooter used a silencer on his gun.

"Let's not kid ourselves. While the death of Chief Justice Marshall is a tragedy, let's not forget how she acted as an enabler for homosexuals with her gay marriage ruling."

Scott Lively, November 23, 2003


"I'd like to find that shooter and buy him a beer."

Free Republic user

AYATOLLAH KHAMENEI MAKES FIRST APPEARANCE IN MONTHS

Wall Street Journal, November 25, 2003

Amid continued resistance to the Revolutionary Guards junta in Iran, Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei has made his first appearance in six months.

In a televised broadcast from an undisclosed location, Khamenei denounced the anti-junta resistance and encouraged the people of Iran to support the new government.

Some observers have noted odd mannerisms in Khamenei's speech, possibly indicating that he had been drugged beforehand.

PRESIDENT CHENEY DIES OF HEART ATTACK

New York Times, January 20, 2004

President Dick Cheney has died after suffering a fatal heart attack during his State of the Union speech.

As he was addressing Congress, Cheney's speech became strained and he began grasping at his chest before collapsing. Cheney was rushed to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead four hours later.

Vice President Colin Powell was sworn in as President in the hospital waiting room. It remains to be seen whether he will run in the upcoming presidential election.

"After much contemplation, I have decided not to run in the upcoming election. Instead, I only intend to act as a caretaker until the American people make their choice.”

President Colin Powell, January 25, 2004

"When it comes to the war on Christian values being waged by the American left, both Cheney and Powell have consistently shown themselves to be on the wrong side. That's why I'm running in the 2004 presidential election, to restore our nation's Christian heritage."

Senator Rick Santorum(R-PA) announcing his candidacy, January 30, 2004

"I am proud to announce that I am running for the Republican nomination in the 2004 presidential election.

Senator Lincoln Chafee(R-RI) announcing his candidacy, January 30, 2004

POWELL ANNOUNCES WITHDRAWAL FROM VENEZUELA

Wall Street Journal, January 31, 2004

In a press conference, President Powell has announced his intention to withdraw American forces from Venezuela.

For the past nine months, the US army has been supporting the Venezuelan government against pro-Chavez rebels. Powell, citing the corruption and authoritarianism of the ruling junta, has ended that support.

"I think the withdrawal from Venezuela is a mistake. The government is still shaky, and instead of simply abandoning them, we should encourage them to clean up and democratize before letting them stand on their own."

Rush Limbaugh, February 1, 2004

"Images from satellites and U2 overflights have shown a growing network of prison camps in Iran, presumably for imprisoning opponents of the Revolutionary Guard junta."

Secretary of Defense Robert Gates in a press release, February 3, 2004

BUICK ANNOUNCES WITHDRAWAL FROM AMERICAN MARKET

New York Times, April 30, 2004

101 years after its foundation, General Motors is withdrawing the Buick brand from the American market to focus on the more lucrative Chinese market.

The announcement comes on the heels of the shutdown of Oldsmobile, the oldest automotive marque in America. Like Oldsmobile, Buick has been underperforming in sales in recent years. The failure of the brand has been attributed to overly conservative designs and a stigma as an "old man's car" due to the fact that the average Buick customer is between 50 and 85 years old. The lingering economic troubles of the Cheney administration have also hurt, driving down automotive sales across the board.

Despite its troubles in America, Buick has been wildly successful in China, where it is regarded as a status symbol akin to BMW or Mercedes-Benz. This popularity has kept GM from shuttering the brand altogether.

American production is set to be shut down at the end of the 2004 model year, with support for dealers continuing until October 2005.

"When I am president, I will work to restore the American auto industry to its former glory, so that there will be no more stories like Buick and Oldsmobile."

Lincoln Chafee, campaign speech in Detroit, Michigan, May 1, 2004

"Chafee's talking out his ass. You can't restore an industry to its former glory when all its woes are self-inflicted."

Neal Boortz, May 2, 2004

The Caspian Sea, May 9, 2004

Ali kept looking back at the package in the back of the boat. He knew little about its contents, but it was apparently supposed to help the Chechens in their jihad against the Russian infidels.

In the distance, he saw the lights of the city of Makhachkala, where the Chechens were waiting to receive his cargo.

The Russians would soon regret their decision to go to war with Islam.

"It happened! I don't believe it, but it happened! A nuclear weapon has gone off in Moscow! President Vladimir Putin, Prime Minster Mikhail Fradkov, and the entire Duma are believed to have been killed."

"President Powell has raised the DEFCON level all the way to two. Right now, the US government is trying to contact any surviving government or military officials in Russia. Some fear that the Russian military may mistake this for an American attack and retaliate."

Brian Williams, NBC Nightly News, May 19, 2004

POWELL: Just what the hell's going on in Russia?

PANETTA: Chaos, Mr. President. With Putin and most of the government reduced to glowing particles, at least five different competing governments are claiming to be the legitimate government of Russia. Four of these are military juntas.

POWELL: And the fifth?

PANETTA: They're headed out of Novgorod by none other than Vladimir Zhirinovsky.

POWELL: You mean the guy who once threw orange juice on a debate opponent on TV?

PANETTA: That's him.

POWELL: Well shit, he's just some jingoistic crank, isn't he?

PANETTA: Yeah, but after this disaster his rhetoric is bound to have appeal to the Russian people.

POWELL: Just who do you think did this anyway?

PANETTA: If I had to take a guess, I'd say it was the Islamist rebels in the Caucasus.

POWELL: Shit. If that's the case, the Russians may decide to take revenge by nuking as many Muslim cities as possible, both in and out of Russia. We can't let that happen.

Conversation between President Powell and National Security Advisor Leon Panetta, May 30, 2004

JOHN EDWARDS NOMINATED FOR PRESIDENCY

New York Times, July 29, 2004

The 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston, Massachusetts has concluded with the nomination of Senator John Edwards of North Carolina for President and Representative Dennis Kucinich of Ohio for Vice President.

POWELL: Has anyone figured out where the Chechens got that nuke?

GATES: Well, we captured some Iranian jihadists in Iraq. From what they've told us, a picture is starting to emerge.

POWELL: Go on.

GATES: According to them, the Iranian government was responsible for supplying the nuke to the Chechen fighters.

POWELL: Shit. Where the hell did they get it? I know Iran has been openly pursuing nuclear weapon development since the junta, but surely they couldn't have made one already?

GATES: Well, the captured jihadists said nothing about the origin of the nuke. We think it may have been smuggled out of Pakistan.

POWELL: But wasn't Pakistan's nuclear arsenal expended during the 2001 exchange?

GATES: That's what it looked like at first. Apparently, the Iranians were able to find one laying around. Who knows what will happen when they actually start producing nukes of their own?

POWELL: This is bad. Having a nuclear-armed fanatical Islamic state is bad enough. Having a nuclear-armed fanatical Islamic state that freely gives its nukes out to terrorists is a possibility that simply cannot be allowed to happen.

Conservation between President Cheney and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, August 3, 2004.

"To the government of Iran: we know that you supplied the Chechens with the nuke that destroyed Moscow. And we also know that you'll happily give nukes away to terrorists once you actually start producing them."

"I call upon the government of Iran to stop their development of nuclear weapons or suffer the consequences."

President Colin Powell, address to the United Nations, August 5, 2004

KASICH, SANTORUM, NOMINATED BY GOP

Wall Street Journal, September 2, 2004

In the 2004 Republican National Convention, hosted in New York City, former representative John Kasich of Ohio was nominated as the GOP's presidential candidate while Senator Rick Santorum was nominated for Vice President.

Santorum, who had previously sought the presidential nomination himself, had decided to throw his lot in with the more moderate Kasich after the latter won several primaries.


CHAFEE ANNOUNCES INDEPENDENT RUN

Washington Post, September 3, 2004

After losing the Republican presidential nomination to John Kasich, Senator Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island has announced he intends to run in the general election as an independent.

Despite his failure to secure the GOP nomination, Chafee remains confident that he can still win the election by drawing dissatisfied voters from both parties.

Chafee has chosen retired general and former prospective Democratic nominee Wesley Clark as his running mate.

IRAN “VERY CLOSE” TO BECOMING NUCLEAR STATE

Washington Post, September 5, 2004


Iran is close to becoming a nuclear weapons state, according to a defector from the Revolutionary Guards.


The defector, who asked to remain anonymous to protect his family in Iran, says the military is preparing to test its first nuclear weapon.

US NAVY LAUNCHES STRIKE ON IRANIAN NUCLEAR FACILITIES

New York Times, September 12, 2004

The US Navy launched a daring strike on Iran to halt its nuclear weapons program.

The strike targeted the Lavizan-Shian Technical Research Center and Parchin Military Complex and was carried out by aircraft from the carrier USS John F. Kennedy.

ANTI-NUKE ACTIVISTS PROTEST IRAN STRIKE

Wall Street Journal, September 13, 2004

"This was totally necessary. It was either strike now or stand by and let Iran become a source of free nukes for terrorists."

Colin Powell, defending the decision to attack Iran to the United Nations, September 13, 2004

LAST AMERICAN BUICK ROLLS OFF ASSEMBLY LINE

Detroit Free Press, September 30, 2004

Today was a bittersweet day for workers at GM's Detroit/Hamtramck Assembly plant as the last Buick built for the American domestic market rolled off the assembly line.

The car, a black Park Avenue, was signed by assembly workers as it rolled down the assembly line. After completion, the car was driven to the GM Heritage Center in Sterling Heights, where it was put on permanent display.

The last car built for retail sale, a red LeSabre, rolled off the line shortly before the Park Avenue.

While Buick's reputation had been rather lukewarm in its final years, some are still saddened to see the marque go.

SADDAM HUSSEIN COMMITS SUICIDE IN CELL

Washington Post, September 1, 2004

Saddam Hussein, the man who ruled Iraq with an iron fist for 23 years, was found dead in his cell while awaiting trial for his crimes against the Iraqi people.

While Hussein's death has been ruled suicide by hanging, some suspect that the prison guards decided to take revenge on the deposed dictator for his years of repressive rule.

"It is quite a shame that this tyrant will now never face justice for his crimes."

Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld, in response to Hussein's suicide.

"If I were faced with a kangaroo trial presided over by the Americans, I too would take my own life rather than surrender it to those bastards."

Bashar al-Assad, President of Syria

FINAL PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE HELD AT ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY

New York Times, October 13, 2004

The third and final debate of the 2004 election campaign was held today at Arizona State University in Phoenix.

The debate was notable for including independent candidate Lincoln Chafee.

During the debate, the candidates were asked a variety of questions on domestic and foreign policy. One thing all three candidates agreed on was the need to end the war in Iraq. Edwards argued that the war in Afghanistan and Pakistan should take precedence. Chafee, on the other hand, said only Pakistan truly needed continued American assistance, since it continued to suffer the after-effects of the December 2001 nuclear war with India.

INDIAN GOVERNMENT PROTESTS REARMING OF PAKISTAN

The Telegraph, October 16, 2004

The sale of American military equipment to the shaky Pakistani government in Gilgit has aroused protests from the government of India.

Speaking to the United Nations, Provisional Prime Minister Padmanabhan said that Pakistan should be barred from having a military capable of threatening its neighbors. According to Padmanbhan, keeping Pakistan's military weak was the only way to avoid another disastrous war between it and India.

KASICH ELECTED 46TH PRESIDENT

Wall Street Journal, November 3, 2004

The 2004 Presidential election has come to an end and Republican Candidate John Kasich has come out on top, carrying 28 states to John Edwards's 18.

Despite predictions to the contrary, independent candidate Lincoln Chafee made a strong showing, carrying the states of Minnesota, Washington, and Oregon along with his native Rhode Island, the strongest results for a third-party candidate since George Wallace's run on the American Independent Party ticket in 1968. Many pundits have credited Chafee with helping Kasich win by acting as a spoiler for the Democrats, dividing the liberal vote while conservatives united behind Kasich and Vice Presidential candidate Rick Santorum.

"PURIFIER" SENTENCED TO LIFE

The Telegraph, November 8, 2004

Tim Ablitt, the man who bombed three British mosques, has been given a sentence of life imprisonment. Because of the seriousness of the crimes, Ablitt was given a whole-life tariff.

As Ablitt was being sentenced, a crowd of far-right activists gathered outside the courthouse to protest his imprisonment, calling him a hero in the fight against Islamism in Britain. The protestors were eventually broken up by riot police.

IRANIAN JUNTA COLLAPSES

Wall Street Journal, November 28, 2004

Six months after taking over Iran, the Army of the Guardians of the Islamic Revolution has fallen from power amidst internal strife.

Having held a shaky grip on power since its inception, the junta was ultimately overwhelmed by growing dissent and mounting economic troubles. The American nuclear strike on September 12 served to hasten the junta's collapse.

With the end of the Revolutionary Guards, several rival factions have arisen, each fighting for their own vision for a new Iran.

I, John Richard Kasich do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

John Kasich's inaugural oath, January 20, 2005


My fellow Americans

Never in our nation's history have we faced a crisis like we do today. Our way of life is under attack by fanatics who claim to be following the word of their god. In their drive to impose their twisted order upon the world, they have claimed hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of lives around the world. America, our beloved homeland, is the foremost target of their wicked campaign. Make no mistake, the soldiers of radical Islam are deeply offended by our freedom and seek to destroy it?

But have we faced this threat effectively? No! Instead, we have let our own differences consume us. The divide between the left and right in America has never been as severe as it is now. On one hand, we have the right demanding ever more foreign adventures and showering hatred on innocents who just happen to be of the same race or religion as the people we are currently at war with, even if they reject the message of their violent brethren. On the other hand, we have the far left, who have routinely acted as apologists for the radical Islamists and vigorously oppose any attempt to fight them effectively.

As president, I will heal our fractured political landscape so that we can more effectively fight against our enemies. I will govern not in a Republican manner, not in a conservative manner, but in an American manner.

God bless you all.

John Kasich's inaugural address

LAST AMERICAN TROOPS LEAVE VENEZUELA

Washington Post, January 31, 2005

One year after President Powell announced the end of the American occupation of Venezuela, the last US Army troops have departed the country.

As part of the war's end, the government has entered into negotiations with the leftist rebels.

TURKEY OCCUPIES EASTERN IRAN

The Guardian, February 2, 2005

The Turkish army has moved into eastern Iran, taking advantage of the chaos caused by the fall of the military junta.

Turkey's neighbors have accused the Turkish government of land-grabbing, while the Turks claim to be merely bringing stability to a chaotic region.

ERASURE SINGER MURDERED AT CONCERT

The Daily Mail, February 5, 2005

Andy Bell, the flamboyant singer for two-man synthpop band Erasure, was shot and killed on stage in Bristol while the duo was touring to promote their newest album Nightbird.

Bell was in the middle of performing the duo's 1992 hit "Always" when a woman in the front row pulled out what witnesses described as a "antique pistol" and shot him once in the chest. The shooter then made her escape through the crowd. Bell was pronounced dead at the scene.

"One less faggot pop star corrupting our children"

IslamicAwakening.com user, on Andy Bell's death

"One less faggot pop star corrupting our children."

Free Republic user

MURDERER OF MASS. SUPREME COURT CHIEF JUSTICE CAUGHT IN ARLINGTON

New York Times, February 10, 2005

The man responsible for the murder of Massachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall has been captured in Arlington, according to Arlington authorities.

29-year old Farooque Ahmed, who was living in Arlington under an assumed name, was arrested by authorities after assaulting a lesbian couple. Once in custody, Ahmed admitted to shooting Marshall in cold blood in November 2003 using a Springfield M1A rifle fitted with a homemade silencer.

Arlington police noticed that Ahmed seemed to take pride in murdering Marshall, describing her as a "faggot lover" for her 2003 ruling on gay marriage in Massachusetts.

"So it was a Muslim? Doesn't matter, one less liberal fag-cuddler on this planet."

Free Republic user, on the capture of Farooque Ahmed

KNESSET APPROVES WITHDRAWAL FROM GAZA

Haaretz, February 16, 2005

In a 59-40 decision, the Knesset has approved the plan to withdraw Israeli forces and settlers from Gaza.

The decision has drawn criticism from the Israeli right, which have been repeated by supporters of Israel in America. American Vice President Rick Santorum, in a speech delievered at a pro-Israel rally in Washington DC, said that "the Israeli government has made a grave mistake in conceding Gaza to the terrorists who call themselves Palestinians." President Kasich, on the other hand, has called the decision "a commendable move in the Israel-Palestine peace process."

COLORADO SENATOR INTRODUCES MARRIAGE PROTECTION AMENDMENT

Wall Street Journal, February 20, 2005

Senator Wayne Allard (R-CO) has introduced a constitutional amendment to Congress that would ban same-sex marriage nationwide.

The Federal Marriage Amendment defines marriage solely as the union of one man and one woman and is meant to prevent judicial extension of marriage rights to same-sex couples, overriding state laws on same-sex marriage.

While the bill has the backing of several Republican congressmen and Vice President Santorum, President Kasich has criticized the bill, saying that the states should be allowed to make their own decisions on same-sex marriage instead of having the federal government deciding the issue.

FEDERAL MARRIAGE AMENDMENT FALTERS IN SENATE

Washington Post, February 27, 2005

The Federal Marriage Amendment, which would bar same-sex couples from being granted the right to marry, has failed to garner the 60 Senate votes needed to obtain cloture and force a direct vote on the amendment.

In the vote, the FMA received 49 "nay" and 48 "yea" votes. Vice President Santorum has expressed disappointment that more Senators did not vote in favor. President Kasich has called it "a victory for federalism."

VENEZUELAN JUNTA FLEES CARACAS

New York Times, March 16, 2005

The military junta that has ruled Venezuela since April 2002 has fled the capital city after renewed fighting.

The junta had been steadily losing control of the country over the past month, having failed to secure a peace with pro-Chavez rebels.

HUGO CHAVES RETURNS TO VENEZUELA

Washington Post, March 17, 2005

Hugo Chavez, the radical left-wing Venezuelan president who was deposed in a coup in 2002, has returned to Venezuela from Cuba after the fall of the military junta.

Speaking to a crowd of supporters in Caracas, Chavez promised to punish everyone who had supported the junta.

US ARMY BEGINS DRAWDOWN FROM IRAQ

New York Times, April 15, 2005

The withdrawal of US troops from Iraq has begun in accordance with President Kasich's campaign promises. With the end of the American occupation, responsibility for fighting Islamist insurgents will fall to the reconstituted Iraqi armed forces. Some have expressed concern about withdrawing from Iraq while civil war continues to rage in neighboring Iran.

KASICH KILLED IN PLANE CRASH IN LONDON

New York Times, April 29, 2005

President John Kasich was killed this morning when Air Force One crashed in London en route to Kabul.

Kasich was flying to Afghanistan to meet with Afghan president Hamid Karzai. As the Boeing VC-25, tail number 28000, was on final approach to Heathrow Airport in inclement weather, the crew requested a go-around due to low visibility. The plane climbed to a maximum altitude of 2,500 feet before suddenly pitching down and impacting the runway threshold. All 50 passengers and 26 crew were killed, President Kasich among them.

The US Air Force and Britain's Air Accident Investigation Branch have both started investigations. The task is made more difficult by the severe destruction of the airframe.

Vice President Rick Santorum, whose was still in Washington DC, has been sworn in as the 47th President of the United States of America.

My fellow Americans, our nation has never faced such circumstances as it has now. The American way of life is under attack on two fronts. On one hand, we have the adherents of a brutal 7th-century creed that seeks to drag the whole world down to their level. On the other hand, we have the forces of secularism and social liberalism who seek to eliminate all traces of Christianity from the public sphere and impose their worldview on the American people.

I hear many people claim that Al-Qaeda and the like does not represent true Islam. Obviously, those people have never cracked open the Koran. If they did, they would understand that its hateful verses are the magic carpet on which terrorists ride.

The funny thing is, even though Islam stands in opposition that everything liberals believe in, they still coddle Muslims and oppose any attempts to fight Islamic terrorism effectively. You know why? Because they share the Muslims' hatred of Christianity.

Think about it. Our children are not allowed to pray in school. We're not allowed to say "Merry Christmas" lest some atheist who hears it gets offended and files a lawsuit. People who try to get homosexuals to reform and give up their wicked ways are accused of "hate speech" and silenced. School textbooks are filled with the theory of evolution, keeping our children from learning about the true origin of the world.

The most outrageous part is that some American Christians have acquiesced to this, saying things like "Jesus never condemned homosexuality" or "There is nothing in the Bible that contradicts evolution." Make no mistake, if you say something like this, you're part of the problem.

Thankfully, there is a solution. As your president, I will steer this nation back on the path intended by the Founding Fathers. I will do my best to promote Christian values and beat back the dark forces of secularism. After all, only by regaining our way can we deal with the threats that besiege us.

God bless you all.


Rick Santorum's speech upon assuming the presidency, April 29, 2005

"Oh God, we are in for a terrible time"

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), in response to Santorum's inauguration speech.

"What the hell have we done to deserve this prick?"

Representative Barney Frank (D-MA)

SANTORUM HIRES NEW CHIEF OF STAFF

Wall Street Journal, May 1, 2005

In his first act as president, Rick Santorum has fired Kasich's White House Chief of Staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, and replaced him with noted conservative pundit Ann Coulter, making her the first woman to be appointed to the position.

LOTT NOMINATED TO VICE PRESIDENCY

Washington Post, May 2, 2005

President Santorum has nominated Senator Trent Lott (R-MS) for the office of Vice President.

LOTT CONFIRMED BY SENATE

Wall Street Journal, May 16, 2005

In a 65-to-35 vote, the United States Senate has voted to cofirm Trent Lott as Vice President.

LOTT CONFIRMED AS VP

New York Times, May 23, 2005

Trent Lott has officially been confirmed as Vice President of the United States by the House of Representatives with a 235-to-200 vote.

SANTORUM HALTS WITHDRAWAL FROM IRAQ

New York Times, May 25, 2005

President Santorum has halted the drawdown of American forces from Iraq. In a speech to a joint session of Congress, Santorum said "the Iraqi people need us more than ever right now" citing the continued Islamist insurgency and the continued anarchy in Iran.

DON'T ASK DON'T TELL OVERTURNED

New York Times, May 30, 2005

By executive order, President Santorum has abolished Don't Ask Don't Tell, the policy that allowed homosexuals to serve in the US military as long as they kept their sexual orientation to themselves.

Under Executive Order 13394, potential recruits to the United States Armed Forces are now required to disclose their orientation upon applying for service. Those who identify as homosexual or bisexual are to be immediately turned down, in accordance with the US military's longstanding ban on open homosexuality.

The order has drawn widespread condemnation from LGBT advocacy groups and praise from social conservatives.

SECRETARY OF DEFENSE RESIGNS OVER EXECUTIVE ORDER

Wall Street Journal, May 31, 2005

Secretary of Defense Gordon R. England has announced his resignation from the cabinet, citing Executive Order 13394.

In a statement to the press, England called XO13394 "a thinly disguised attempt to impose Christian fundamentalist values on our armed forces."

To replace England, Santorum has nominated Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of Defense under President Ford and Secretary of State under President Cheney and President Powell.

RUMSFELD CONFIRMED BY SENATE

Washington Post, June 21, 2005

In a 75 to 25 vote, Donald Rumsfeld has been confirmed as Secretary of Defense by the Senate.

SANTORUM INSULTS KING OF SPAIN OVER GAY MARRIAGE

El País, July 1, 2005 (translated from the original Spanish)

In a statement to the press, US president Santorum has criticized King Juan Carlos I for giving his royal assent to Law 13/2005, which gives same-sex couples the right to marry.

Speaking before reporters in Washington, Santorum called Juan Carlos "an enabler of sexual deviancy" who "spinelessly bowed before the forces of godlessness."

When confronted with Santorum's statement, the king said "Mr. Santorum must remember that not everyone shares his bigoted views." Both the ruling PSOE and opposition People's Party have condemned Santorum's remarks.

INDIAN GOVERNMENT PASSES DISCRIMINATORY LAWS AGAINST MUSLIMS

The Daily Mail, July 8, 2005

The Indian military junta has passed a series of laws restricting the freedom of Indian Muslims.

Under the so-called Anti-Terrorism Defense Act, Muslims are prohibited from gathering in large groups, obtaining firearms licenses, and proselytizing to non-Muslims. All mosques must register themselves to the government, and any mosque that is determined to be spreading "harmful teachings" will be shut down.

Human rights groups have condemned the measures as an attack on religious freedom.

WOLFOWITZ NAMED NATIONAL SECURITY ADVISOR

Wall Street Journal, July 8, 2005

President Santorum has named Paul Wolfowitz as National Security Advisor, replacing Kasich appointee Stephen Hadley.

INDIA WITHDRAWS FROM UN

The Guardian, July 11, 2005

Fed up with condemnations of its human rights abuses, the government of India has announced its withdrawal from the United Nations.

SECRETARY OF EDUCATION ACCUSED OF CHILD MOLESTATION

New York Times, July 12, 2005

Dennis Hastert, Secretary of Education, has been accused of molesting students during his tenure as a teacher at Yorkville High School in the 1970s.

One of Hastert's alleged victims says that he has bribing his victims with taxpayer money to keep silent throughout his congressional career.

President Santorum has promised to punish Hastert for his crimes, stating that "There is no room for sexual deviants in this administration." Reaction from Congress has been mixed. "On one hand, I fully support Hastert being punished for what he did to those boys" said Representative John Conyers (D-MI). "On the other hand, I know Santorum is gonna take advantage of Hastert's removal to appoint some nutjob."

SANTORUM NOMINATES NEW EDUCATION SECRETARY

Wall Street Journal, July 13, 2005

President Santorum has nominated former law professor Phillip E. Johnson to replace the disgraced Dennis Hastert as Secretary of Education.

Santorum described Johnson, a founding father of the Intelligent Design movement that questions the teaching of evolution in public schools, "a seasoned veteran of the fight against secularism in our nation's schools."

INDIA'S POPULATION FALLS BELOW 900 MILLION

The Daily Mail, July 13, 2005


Three and a half years after the devastating nuclear war with Pakistan, India's population continues to decline.


According to a recent census by the Indian government, the population has fallen to 890 million people. International observers blame the decline on famine, disease, nuclear fallout, and emigration to escape the repressive military-run regime, which has repeatedly failed to fulfill its promises to step aside and allow democratic elections.

 

[Lost Freeway]

I've tried to keep track of this timeline but comments usually seem longer than the updates itself and it is hard to differentiate between story posts and comments LF makes.

This makes it quite annoying to 'chase' the story over multiple pages.

It's not that hard. The actual updates start with headlines in all-caps-well, most of them anyway.

 

[Lost Freeway]

NORTHWEST AIRLINES FLIGHT BREAKS UP OVER LAKE MICHIGAN

Wall Street Journal, July 14, 2005


An early-morning flight from Detroit to Minneapolis ended in tragedy when the plane disintegrated in the skies over Lake Michigan.


Northwest Airlines Flight 2804 was cruising at 32,000 feet with 75 passengers and five crew on board when the plane, a 28-year old McDonnell-Douglas DC-9, suddenly disappeared from ATC radar screens. Hours later, USCG vessels found plane debris on the surface of Lake Michigan, close to Flight 2804's last known location. Submersibles have been dispatched to the area to search for debris and bodies on the lake's bottom.

 

[dakkafex]

NORTHWEST AIRLINES FLIGHT BREAKS UP OVER LAKE MICHIGAN

I'm surprised and a little relieved that there didn't appear to have been any important national leaders on that flight.

 

[Indicus]

I'm surprised and a little relieved that there didn't appear to have been any important national leaders on that flight.

They're gonna recover the body of Russ Feingold. Just wait...

 

[Deleted member 87099]

I'm surprised and a little relieved that there didn't appear to have been any important national leaders on that flight.

... and the entire house and senate leadership of the Democratic Party has been pulled out of Lake Michigan.

 

[Lost Freeway]

... and the entire house and senate leadership of the Democratic Party has been pulled out of Lake Michigan.

There's no way in hell the entire Democratic Party is gonna gather on one plane while Santorum is in charge.

It will be a prominent Wisconsin politician, but not who you think.

 

[Lost Freeway]

SENATOR KOHL AMONG FLIGHT 2804 CASUALTIES

Milwaukee Journal Sentiel, July 14, 2005

Herb Kohl, the Democratic senior Senator for Wisconsin, has been confirmed as one of the casualties of Northwest Airlines Flight 2804.

Northwest Airlines has released the passenger manifest of Flight 2804, and Kohl's name has shown up on the list.

Junior Senator Russ Feingold has called it "a great loss for the state of Wisconsin and the nation as a whole." President Santorum, in a statement to reporters, said "I may have disagreed with Kohl on multiple issues, but I am as saddened as everyone else to see him dead in such a manner."

Investigators are still trying to determine what caused the DC-9 to break up in flight over Lake Michigan. Already, many are speculating that the plane was brought down by an act of terrorism.

 

[dakkafex]

WELP

Guess I spoke too soon.

 

[Lost Freeway]

WELP

Guess I spoke too soon.

At least we still have Feingold.

 

[patton2]

How is Russia?