DBWI: Jeremy Clarkson is not a dandy

PhilKearny · Oct 11, 2009

Jeremy Clarkson, narcissist and presenter on the BBC's Top Gear, is probably the United Kingdom's best known wearer of bespoke suits, silk ties, and tailored linen. He is undoubtedly the Beau Brummel of our era. His obsession with formal dress appears to be part and parcel of his objection to the UK's progressive elements, members of which he has described as "clad in demin, sweaters, old tweed jackets and other Oxfam cast-offs that making socialism as unfasionable as it is unreasonable." However, his insistence on Saville Row suits with his stout figure has been lead some to conclude that Clarkson has contributed to the decline of tailored suit sales.

What if Clarkson cut the pretention instead dressed mainly in Levi's and 1970s or 1980s vintage shirts rather than Saville Row's finest? What would be the ramifications? Would Top Gear still be popular with the great unwashed? Would Levi's sales drop?

Fibis · Oct 11, 2009

It comments like 'You're not an American you are not fat enough' and the likes that make top gear great, The presenters could wear turbans, kilts and reject Blake 7 attire and still be popular

Mako_Leader · Oct 11, 2009

JC.

The man who will single handily (with help from Hamster and Captain Slow) save us from political correctness.

DISSIDENT · Oct 12, 2009

So...if this has something to do with Blakes 7, does this mean Jeremy Clarkson slowly becomes more paranoid and violent after discovering his former lover was a Labor Party agent spying on him, tries to throw James May out the airlock of a damaged space shuttle and guns down Richard Hammond in the final episode while screaming "HAVE YOU BETRAYED US?! HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME!!?" only to find himself surrounded by Gordon Brown and Tony Blair supporters as he raises his gun and smiles before the credits roll one last time?

Fiji · Oct 12, 2009

DISSIDENT said:
So...if this has something to do with Blakes 7, does this mean Jeremy Clarkson slowly becomes more paranoid and violent after discovering his former lover was a Labor Party agent spying on him, tries to throw James May out the airlock of a damaged space shuttle and guns down Richard Hammond in the final episode while screaming "HAVE YOU BETRAYED US?! HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME!!?" only to find himself surrounded by Gordon Brown and Tony Blair supporters as he raises his gun and smiles before the credits roll one last time?

you forgot the part where The Stig drives a convertible through a puddle of corrosive micro-oganisms who begin to eat away at both the convertible and The Stig himself. Later in that same episode The Stig says "I have failed you. I am sorry. I ..." at which points both the convertible and The Stig collapse in a puff of acrid smoke.
The Hamster remarks "The Stig speaks"
May pokes him in the head, which limply roles to one side, and replies, "not anymore."

DISSIDENT · Oct 12, 2009

Or when they go on a raid against what they think is the main Toyota manufacturing plant in the British Isles.

As Richard Hammond gloats "We've done it! I've done it!", Jeremy Clarkson says, "Richard...there's nothing here."

It turns out it was moved thirty years ago and this was left as a lure to British conservative automotive television show hosts.

Jason Dawe is killed by a collapsing roof on the way out and says "I'm not worth dying for!"

In the next episode, Richard Hammond isolates himself on a hostile planet while the British regional manager of Toyota is put on war crimes trial and tells the executives "If I am guilty of murder, of mass murder, then so are all of you!"

G.Fieendish · Oct 13, 2009

Fiji said:
you forgot the part where The Stig drives a convertible through a puddle of corrosive micro-oganisms who begin to eat away at both the convertible and The Stig himself. Later in that same episode The Stig says "I have failed you. I am sorry. I ..." at which points both the convertible and The Stig collapse in a puff of acrid smoke.
The Hamster remarks "The Stig speaks"
May pokes him in the head, which limply roles to one side, and replies, "not anymore."

Does this mean Vicki Butler-Hamilton is Servalan, sitting in the passenger seat demanding "More Power", then ...?

DISSIDENT · Oct 13, 2009

Good one.

Vicki Butler Hamilton seizes power as foreign import cars mysteriously gain more influence, interrogating her staff and saying "I will not be president of a ruined empire!"

Or Jeremy Clarkson tries to build an alliance of British car manufacturers against foreign import expansion with the CEO of Rolls Royce as his nominal figurehead, but the CEO is secretly in collusion with Vicki Butler Hamilton and releases a radioactive airborne virus in the Top Gear studio. His daughter dies from the radioactive particles when she takes her glove off trying to repair a pipe.

PhilKearny · Oct 13, 2009

Fiji said:
you forgot the part where The Stig drives a convertible through a puddle of corrosive micro-oganisms who begin to eat away at both the convertible and The Stig himself.

Talk about ASB. It is simply not believable that anything other than driving a beaten up British sports car off an beaten up carrier (or the Stig revealing his identity) could harm the Stig. It's in his contract, innit?

Kenichiro Harada · Oct 13, 2009

PhilKearny said:
What if Clarkson cut the pretention instead dressed mainly in Levi's and 1970s or 1980s vintage shirts rather than Saville Row's finest? What would be the ramifications? Would Top Gear still be popular with the great unwashed? Would Levi's sales drop?

There is only one thing to say to this.