Alternate Headlines

VICTORY!!!!!
AFTER 5 YEARS OF HARD FIGHTING, OUR AMERICAN COMRADES HAVE FINALLY DEFEATED THE CAPITALIST PIG DOGS IN LA!!
 
Thatcher exposes Argentine plot to invade Falklands

Argentina censured at meeting of UN General Assembly
Followed by:
The end of an era: Britain's last aircraft carrier sold to Australia

Royal Marines disbanded

Argentina takes Falklands
Bush: "Not American business to defend British colonies"


 
In the New York Times:

BUSH RESIGNS UNDER IMPEACHMENT THREAT;
PELOSI TO TAKE OFFICE AT NOON TODAY


CONVINCED BY WIFE,
ROVE, HUGHES, RICE;
"BEST MOVE FOR GOP"​


In the Daily News:

HE'S OUT!
Bush to resign at noon today
Pelosi will be 1st female Prez

Hil: Rats, it was
supposed to be me!

In the Post:

R.IP. U.S.A.
1776 - 2007

Complete with portrait of Uncle Sam with single teardrop.

The preceding presumes, of course, that Cheney dies of a heart attack a month before, and before Bush can get new VP approved by Congress, a gun is found that is so smoking that even Ann Coulter has to admit he should go.
 
UNITED STATES STRIKES BRITISH BASE AT PEARL HARBOUR

"Didnt expect that one" admits Admiral Jelicoe

"Today will be infamous in the history of the english peoples" claims Churchill

"Just taking whats rightfully ours" States president Lindenburgh

Sir Scott
-Nasty nip
 
Based on my earler news story

USA DECLERS WAR ON NEW ENGLAND AND THE GERMAN EMPIRE!

FRANCE INVADES ALSACE-LORRANNE!
 
It'S A FRAUD!!!

Scientists now agree, climate change is normal. Nobel Prize seized from Gore;
as he's indicted for fraud!

 
COPS PURSUING NEW LEADS IN HEAVEN'S GATE SUICIDE CASE

Director of movie bomb said to have been despondent for weeks over its failure
 
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