AHC: Star Wars Episode I is Good

I am not neccessarily advocating this but there is a way of combining some of my ideas with the first draft to address this.

When the ship needs repairs have Obi-Wan say he knows a place,Tatooine, though it has been some time since he has been there. When asked how he knows about this out of the way world he responds that it used to be his home.

When Obi-Wan and Padme head into town he leads them to the home of Obi-Wan's mother who ilves there with her young son Owen Lars who is the younger half-brother of Obi-Wan Kenobi. Owen mentions that some of the slave children he is friends with work for a parts dealer. The next day he leads them to Watto's place where we meet Anakin and his young sister Beru, who Owen obviously has a crush on. Story mostly poceeds as planned, but at the end of the Tatooine segment Owen argues with Anakin telling him he should not run off with Obi-Wan on some crazy quest to become a Jedi, and that instead he should stay home and look out for his mom and his sister.

In episode two they can make some reference to news that Owen and Beru have gotten married, maybe show a wedding picture. Then whenwe meewt them again we know who they are. At the end of episode III we see them take baby Luke.

PS - I would get Kasdan on board in any version but canh see him as a catalyst for adding this 'subplot' since he is interested in character and this gives them a lot towork with. He could come up with this after reading through all the original scripts.

PPS - You could do this with everyone the planned ages from the OTL first draft Episode I, but the older you make Anakin, Owen, and Beru the better in my opinion. I would like to see them at least 11 but 13 would be better - 16 might be best of all.

Maybe it's just me, but I read Owen as older than Anakin. Maybe not by much in the grand scheme of things, but old enough to have a different perspective on life than Anakin does. The original trilogy, like I said, seems to suggest young Anakin was the type of person liable to go off on a "damn idealistic crusade" Maybe the difference is merely temperamental, but if I were casting it, I would make Owen and Beru older than Anakin. If Anakin's ten, Owen's fourteen. If Anakin is sixteen, Owen is twenty, and possibly already married to Beru.

Maybe aging him up works after all. Like I said, I like the loss leads to insecurity leads to fascism idea the prequels have going on. But perhaps that could be replaced with a tale of idealism tainted by insecurity and fear. I think the eventual fall should at least partially stem from Anakin's belief that the Jedi have betrayed their own ideals, or that the order is fostering "injustice" rather than "Justice", this combined with a personal sense of betrayal on the part of the Jedi, and a gradual seduction on the part of the Dark Side, might make for an interesting series of movies. That is, what if Anakin's fall is a consequence of his early idealism, not a refutation of it? I like the idea of a teenager for this version of the future Darth Vader.

If we were to make the prequels more original trilogy friendly, I would change Naboo to Aldeeraan to demonstrate how "General Kenobi" defended that planet years before the original trilogy. At the very least one of the prequels should involve a "Battle for Aldeeraan".

That would make the prequels much more in line with what was foreshadowed, with one remaining exception. The Qui Gong Jinn problem. The original trilogy seems to strongly imply Yoda was Obi-Wan mentor. Since Jinn hadn't been thought of yet, he isn't mentioned or implied in the original trilogy. I know the official explanation is that Yoda trained Kenobi when the later was a child, handing him off to Qui Gong at a certain point. But Kenobi's lines in the original trilogy imply that Yoda was still training him when he was around Luke's age.

So, how do we reconcile the original trilogy's "Yoda trained Obi-Wan Kenobi" intent, with a meaningful death of Qui Gong Jinn at the close of the first movie? Perhaps, when the film opens Kenobi has just become a Jedi Knight. While Qui Gong didn't originally train Kenobi, he's a far more experienced Jedi than the new Jedi Knight. He still serves the function of an older mentor figure, since the film implies Obi-Wan has never "gone out in the field", so to speak, before. Qui Gong continually mentions that while, "Yoda has trained you well" Kenobi still has his faults as a Jedi. Another thing I would add is that when the pair return to Coruscant, perhaps there should be a quick line of dialogue referencing Kenobi's youthful recklessness, indicating that Obi-Wan accompanied Jinn against the better judgement of Yoda and the Council, and that Kenobi essentially insisted on tagging along. I'm bad with dialogue, I might be as bad a Lucas himself, but maybe the exchange could go like this.

"Join Qui Gong's mission, you should not have. Too dangerous for you it was. Experienced enough, you were not."
"With all due respect Master Yoda, I survived, didn't I?"
 
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Glen

Moderator
Aging them up works and if you like Owen could bea bit older though for him to be berating Anakin it works better in my opinion if they are close in age. It should also make it apparent that Owen always blamed Obi-Wan for leaving the family as well.

Remember that in the first draft this was Obi-Wan's mission and we do not see Qui-Gon there. I would keep it that way.
 
Given that the prequels would have to be totally rewritten. Here's my take on the matter:

Episode 1
- Machines (AIs) are demanding rights, after being seen as non-sentient for millennia by the Republic. Things look like they could explode on the planet Naboo, so the young ambassador Padme amidala is sent to negotiate. Because of the sensitive nature of the situation, the Jedi order (effectively a theocratic body) sends one of their finest knights, Obi-Wan Kenobi, to act as a bodyguard for the duration of the mission.
- Anakin is the pilot of Padme's shuttle as well as her official bodyguard, and is 20 years old. He is also quite idealistic.
- After they land, they find that there have been numerous terrorist attacks on Naboo by technophobes (anti-machine faction) and Machine Rights activists.
- as the negotiations get underway, the presumed dead Sith Order attacks, which forces Anakin and Obi-wan to go after them. During the battle, Anakin shows himself to be capable of handling the force, which makes Obi-wan think that he can become a Jedi.
- They confront and kill the Sith, but find that the political damage has been done, with the Clone Wars starting. However, Anakin begins to have feelings for Padme.
- Anakin undergoes tuition from Obi-Wan, despite the other Jedi saying that it's a bad idea.

Episode 2
- Over the years, Anakin has shown himself to be a capable soldier.
- But he's also arrogant and cynical, as he believes himself to be right and the Jedi to be a bunch of old fools who are out of touch with the Universe. He is also a cyborg by this stage, with 40% of his body being mechanical, which makes him something of an anomaly within the Jedi Order, which considers cybernetics to be unnatural.
- The Clone wars is taking a turn into Vietnam/WW1/Terminator in space (somewhat inspired by Snake Feathersone's Machine Crusade) as huge armies of clones fight what has transformed from a simple AI rebellion into a massive hivemind.
- A major logistical nexus on Geonosis is the main target for the Republic as they try to fight the AI.
- Anakin's relationship with Padme is also becoming more intense, with him promising to marry her once the campaign is over.
- However, he encounters another Sith, Darth Tyrannus, who confirms his pride by telling him that the Jedi were the ones who declared the Machines non-sentient, thus sparking the Clone Wars. This serves to make Anakin more pliable to the Sith.

Episode 3
- The war is nearly over, as the Republic has cornered the Machine, but at a great cost in terms of manpower, industry and morale. The Jedi have also suffered huge losses in this war.
- Luke and Leia are born, and are sent to Tatooine and Alderaan respectively by their mother, who vanishes.
- by this stage, the Republic has morphed into a semi-fascistic dictatorship, with Palpatine priming himself for the opportune moment to strike.
- But first, he completely corrupts Anakin by saying that in order to save the Republic, and prevent another war like the Clone Wars, he must overthrow the corrupt and ossified Jedi Order.
- This betrayal is the final nail in the coffin for the Jedi Order, when most of their members are killed or vanish. From this death of the old order, the Galactic Empire is born.
- Obi-Wan confronts Vader, with a stalemate.
- Vader returns to the Emperor and meets Moff Tarkin, who proposes that an old weapon from the Clone Wars could be useful in consolidating their control.
- While Obi-Wan, Antilles (War hero) and some other galactic bigwigs meet to discuss this rise of the Galactic Empire.

(Optional)
- get a competent band to do a few insert songs (but this would have to be done very, very, very carefully, but hey, it worked for Prince doing songs for Batman)
 

Perkeo

Banned
C3PO playing such a prominant role is just weird when we consider that Obi-Wan had no sign of recognizing them in the original movie.

There are lots of 3PO-type protocol droids in the Star Wars universe, and except the color of the platings, they all look alike. C-3PO's color seems to be somewhat unusual, but still I don't see why this should necessarily be enough to identify the individual droid.

Besides, as others have already stated, Obi-Wan not ADMITTING to recognize the droids doesn't mean anything. After all, he IS known to tell the truth from a certain point of view...

I would change this, or rather I would maintain Obi-Wan's more prominant role in the first draft of Phantom Menace.

I'm afraid I don't know that draft.

EDIT: Now I do, but I haven't changed my mind on that issue. An Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon team makes better dialogue than a single Obi-Wan. The other positive change is the ambivalent ending (total victory of good for outsiders, total victory of evil for insiders). As for the rest, I wonder what medication George Lucas was on when he made that changes...

Nah, just keep him[Qui-Gon] alive and let him have a more prominant (but not overwhelming) role in subsequent movies.

No. Qui-Gon's death is dramaturgically important: It's the reason why Obi-Wan trains Anakin, rather than e.g. Qui-Gon himself.

But one character I'd keep alive is Darth Maul. He can replace General Grievous (whom BTW I found ten times more annoying than Jar-Jar Binks) and take some darkness out of Dooku. Let the audience wonder wether Dooku's offer to captured Obi-Wan in ATOC was actually genuine.

Eh? You've lost me here as to which bits you are referring to.

I referred to:
5) The Jedi Council's negotiations with the Trade Federation go awry. As a result, it is finally decided that action must be taken. A fleet of ships, commandeered by Jedi, join the Naboo fleet to retake the planet. An epic space battle occurs in orbit over Naboo.

Which I find too bold. The OTL George Lucas was right to make it clear that Jedi aren't soldiers and cannot fight an open battle against the Trade Federation's armada. They either need a more subversive strategy (TPM) or lots of clone trooper support (ATOC and ROTS).

And I referred to:
Anakin then quickly rescues Padmes/Amidalas/Whoever-the-hells ship (and her) from a boarding party all by himself. Good guys win. Commence happy ending.
reminding that Padme Amidala (or whatever we call her) needs to
a) be a worthy mother for PRINCESS Lea and
b) to symbolize democracy.
The republican democracy system may be unknown on earth, but it's perfectly suitable for a galaxy far far away.
 
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one thing is remove the stupid trade federation bloackade...that never made any sense

i can see the senate condemming the trade federation immediatly as its a member "world" attacking another (plus they all probaly owe debts to them), nationalising their assets then sending in some ships to blast the bloackde to pieces
 
one thing is remove the stupid trade federation bloackade...that never made any sense

i can see the senate condemming the trade federation immediatly as its a member "world" attacking another (plus they all probaly owe debts to them), nationalising their assets then sending in some ships to blast the bloackde to pieces

if the senate can agree to such a thing. or to even propose it. its heavily corrupted, and likely been that way for some time.
 
Taking inspiration from this thread (which in turn links to other answers) -- with a PoD no earlier than 1996 (the first draft was finished this year), and allowing for the film to premier the same day as OTL, how can Episode I of Star Wars be better?
Get rid of the psudo schientific nonsense about "Midichlorians. that's job one, they were an answer to a question no one was asking.

Give a great level of definition to Obiwan and Anakin and Padme, turn them into definable people, not just cardboard cutouts.

Leave Jar-Jar in, if Star Wars can survive the Ewoks, it can take Jar-Jar in stride.

Make SIdious less operetic, and more conniving.

Get away from the Trade Federation's portrayal as psudo asian charectaturs, what was THAT about?

Boss Nass, go more Godfather, less Nixon.

Cut down o nthe nonhuman digital charecters, there is nothing wrong with Watto just being a short dumpy human.

Just off thetop of my head.
 
Aging them up works and if you like Owen could bea bit older though for him to be berating Anakin it works better in my opinion if they are close in age. It should also make it apparent that Owen always blamed Obi-Wan for leaving the family as well.

Remember that in the first draft this was Obi-Wan's mission and we do not see Qui-Gon there. I would keep it that way.

Qui Gong Jinn exists for one reason, so he can die at the hands of Darth Maul. The problem is, if Jinn shows up too late, or doesn't have a close relationship with Obi-Wan, his death really doesn't have any impact. So the question we have to ask ourselves is how can we give meaning to Jinn's death, if he isn't involved in most of the film's action, and if he isn't Obi-Wan's mentor? That, in a nutshell, is the Qui Gong Jinn problem if we stay true to the foreshadowing.
 
Qui Gong Jinn exists for one reason, so he can die at the hands of Darth Maul. The problem is, if Jinn shows up too late, or doesn't have a close relationship with Obi-Wan, his death really doesn't have any impact. So the question we have to ask ourselves is how can we give meaning to Jinn's death, if he isn't involved in most of the film's action, and if he isn't Obi-Wan's mentor? That, in a nutshell, is the Qui Gong Jinn problem if we stay true to the foreshadowing.

Don't forget, they reminded us that the charecter existed at the end of EP III, when they had Yoda tell Obi that the spirit of Qui gon was going to teach him how to be a disembodied Yenta for Luke.
 

Perkeo

Banned
Don't forget, they reminded us that the charecter existed at the end of EP III, when they had Yoda tell Obi that the spirit of Qui gon was going to teach him how to be a disembodied Yenta for Luke.

that's why I don't understand why they didn't introduce the Qui-Gon force ghost. Did Liam Neeson say no???
 

Glen

Moderator
Qui Gong Jinn exists for one reason, so he can die at the hands of Darth Maul. The problem is, if Jinn shows up too late, or doesn't have a close relationship with Obi-Wan, his death really doesn't have any impact. So the question we have to ask ourselves is how can we give meaning to Jinn's death, if he isn't involved in most of the film's action, and if he isn't Obi-Wan's mentor? That, in a nutshell, is the Qui Gong Jinn problem if we stay true to the foreshadowing.

I do not know that Qui-Gon and his deth in Ep I are either necessary or desireable.
 
I do not know that Qui-Gon and his death in Ep I are either necessary or desirable.

I would say that they are, for a couple reasons. Firstly, they give Darth Maul something to do in the movie rather than stand around do nothing. Secondly, if we keep the idea that the Sith have been gone for generations, and Maul's acts mark the return of the Sith, I think you need to have some kind of act that proves to the understandably skeptical council that the Sith are actually back and that Obi-Wan Kenobi is not simply lying to justify his training Anakin. The death of Qui Gong Jinn works well as an explanation for why the initially skeptical Council eventually agreed to allow Anakin to be trained. I don't have a problem with Qui Gong Jinn's death on its own, even if I don't think he fits perfectly into the foreshadowed plot.
 
one thing is remove the stupid trade federation bloackade...that never made any sense

i can see the senate condemming the trade federation immediatly as its a member "world" attacking another (plus they all probaly owe debts to them), nationalising their assets then sending in some ships to blast the bloackde to pieces

The blockade doesn't make much sense in the original context. That is, as something that precedes an invasion, it seems confusing. However, it stands to reason that, in the aftermath of an invasion, there would be a preponderance of Federation ships in the immediate vicinity of the planet.

And you can't have the Senate work that effectively. The whole point of the Senate in the prequels is that it's a massively inefficient system that has trouble accomplishing anything.
 
The blockade doesn't make much sense in the original context. That is, as something that precedes an invasion, it seems confusing. However, it stands to reason that, in the aftermath of an invasion, there would be a preponderance of Federation ships in the immediate vicinity of the planet.

And you can't have the Senate work that effectively. The whole point of the Senate in the prequels is that it's a massively inefficient system that has trouble accomplishing anything.
very little about the prequels made very much sense.
 
Okay, in the other thread on the effect of a good prequel, I just said:

https://www.alternatehistory.com/discussion/showthread.php?p=5856261#post5856261

If you want the Star Wars prequels to make an impact, you have to not just make them better, but completely surprise everyone with the product. And I don't mean just better special effects, or getting rid of a few bad characters, I mean -- completely overhaul the whole concept, create something completely new, but in a way that the original fans are going to love. In my thinking, that's virtually impossible.

To add to this, I can think of a few that might get this done:

You could completely overhaul the style of the film. For example: have the Wachowski brothers direct episode I and hold off on The Matrix for a year or two. But that would probably separate it too much from the originals, make it so that you can't really watch them together and see them as the same story.

You could come up with a story that completely surprises the fans, something they'd never have expected. This would probably mean Lucas has to bring in someone else with a fresh eye to completely overhaul the story.

Alternatively, maybe Lucas becomes better about keeping secrets about the background of the story, and thus he doesn't have to rework things to try to surprise, because no one knows about things like Obi-Wan and Vader in the volcano.

One more possibiliy is to make use of something that wasn't available to him at the time of the original trilogy: the internet. I'm not just talking viral marketing, but something else. I can't think of what that could be.

Maybe, let the fans help him write the story. Have someone lurk on the various star wars newsgroups and forums, including the fanfiction sites, and review who seems to be the most respected in terms of speculating on the past of the universe, who seems to have the most popularly creative ideas, etc. Then, gather them together, pay them under the table, make them sign nondisclosure agreements, what ever it takes -- and let them fix his story, or even write it themselves the way the fans would want it. Then, as production comes to an end, put that in the marketing: this is the story of Darth Vader's past, the way the Fans see it.
 
I would say that they are, for a couple reasons. Firstly, they give Darth Maul something to do in the movie rather than stand around do nothing. Secondly, if we keep the idea that the Sith have been gone for generations, and Maul's acts mark the return of the Sith, I think you need to have some kind of act that proves to the understandably skeptical council that the Sith are actually back and that Obi-Wan Kenobi is not simply lying to justify his training Anakin. The death of Qui Gong Jinn works well as an explanation for why the initially skeptical Council eventually agreed to allow Anakin to be trained. I don't have a problem with Qui Gong Jinn's death on its own, even if I don't think he fits perfectly into the foreshadowed plot.
And also, Jinn is the older mentor figure. They traditionally die, so that the hero has to go it alone. This is an old tradition, which I think I read about in Hero with a Thousand Faces. George Lucas likes old traditions of fiction, and that book, so I think that Jinn existed to teach Obi Wan and then die.
 
And also, Jinn is the older mentor figure. They traditionally die, so that the hero has to go it alone. This is an old tradition, which I think I read about in Hero with a Thousand Faces. George Lucas likes old traditions of fiction, and that book, so I think that Jinn existed to teach Obi Wan and then die.

Well that is a major component of the Jinn problem. See, the original trilogy heavily implied that Yoda was Obi-Wan's mentor figure.
 
So, if Yoda's the mentor figure, then Jinn wouldn't exist, and George would have no one to kill so he wouldn't know what to do.
 
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