AHC: Make a Stronger Fourth Indiana Jones Film

[Gaius Julius Magnus]

I actually liked switching from the Nazis to the Commies for the fourth one as it was something different and doing them for a third time would have felt repetitive. In addition I don't think Spielberg wanted to do Nazis in the silly "wacky Nazi" way again after Schindler's List.

Crystal Skulls weren't a bad idea and neither were Aliens, but including them together did feel a little too weird I have to admit. Something focusing on "dead religions" would have been interesting like Thor's Hammer or something from Greco-Roman mythology.

 

[Driftless]

Germany 1945

Professor Jones is in the Army, hunting down artifacts the Nazis stole.

Keep him fighting Nazis, and the rest of the story would be fine.

If you have to add weird science to it, Nazi base on the Moon.

An almost plausible parallel to the "Monuments Men" . They hunted stolen Fine Art, while Indy hunts for the weird & dangerous artifacts

 

[Just Leo]

We've met Indiana Jones the prior generation and young Indiana Jones.This movie did introduce Indiana Jones, the next generation. Is there a sequel? Should there be one? Will the new Indy battle the Chi-coms to recover Ming's magic orb or Wang's mystical dong?

 

[Hörnla]

Communists as villains might wish to destroy artifacts which would prove biblical myths (and God's existence)- akin to the Spanish destroying the Fountain of Youth in Pirates IV.

 

[ColeMercury]

The George Lucas to take a hike.

Then the movie doesn't get made.

Up until the sale of Lucasfilm, Indiana Jones movies could only ever be made when Steven Spielberg, George Lucas and Harrison Ford were all interested in doing one.

 

[MonsooN]

It's mentioned in the Crystal Skull that Indy had a distinguished war record in both Europe and the Pacific. (His war record sounded more exciting than the entire film!)

Could they do a story where Indy gets caught up in something while he's in action either in Germany or somewhere in the Pacific and he has to stop a plot by the Japanese or Germans to get some sort of mythical super-weapon? I know this is a bit like RotLA, but if it ain't broke....

The only problem would be who would play Indy?

 

[Orsino]

I didn't like the film but I don'the think Soviets or Aliens were the problem, that stuff made sense to me; you can't just keep on doing Abrahamic artefacts and Nazis forever and fifties cold war/alien astronaut weirdness is fertile pulp territory.

I think the biggest problems with the film were Shia LaBeouf, a wholly uninteresting villain, and too much god-damn CGI. Have the film made earlier and you get rid of at least two of these issues, and maybe even get a cameo from Connery to boot.

 

[zoomar]

Nazi. Indy needs Nazis. I actually didn't mind IJ4 that much...it was far better than IJ2, but the Soviets were just not evil enough...they just wanted to turn people into commies, not kill them.

Nazis. In a secret antarctic base with all their looted Abrahamic religion relics. They get in cahoots with that other abrahamic figure, Satan, to destroy the decadent west and socialist east. Indy is obsessed with this risk that US govt poo-poos. Indy allies with Soviets and Israeli scientists/archaeologists to get rid of Nazis once and for all and US joins late.

Or better yet, have Spielberg and Lucas buy "Iron Sky" from the Finns and make it a real movie.

 

[Driftless]

I think the biggest problems with the film were Shia LaBeouf, a wholly uninteresting villain, and too much god-damn CGI. Have the film made earlier and you get rid of at least two of these issues, and maybe even get a cameo from Connery to boot.

Lose LaBeouf

Cate Blanchett was grossly underemployed as Irina Spalko. If they wanted to use her talent, you could have made her another archaeologist/adventurer, where you aren't quite sure whose side she's on till the end? i.e., she would have been superior to Alison Doody/Dr. Elsa Schnieder in the Last Crusade.

 

[Mumby]

Aight. While aliens are good pulpy fare, it makes little sense in the context of Indiana Jones. There had been no allusions to aliens before this film, and it felt like a cheap excuse to bring in a crowd who would be more enthused by aliens than by 'God'. However, the Cold War is a fertile breeding ground for tensions and possibilities.

Maybe you could have Jones blacklisted by McCarthyites during the 50s, and fired from his institution as a liability. An embittered, aged Jones hits a low point in his life, a depression compounded by the loss of his father and Marcus, and news that his long lost love Marion Ravenwood has also died. However, after a barfight in Mexico City, he hears of someone he believed dead. An old man feverishly working on a dig in the Mayan ruins of the Yucatan. Upon seeing a photograph, he is astonished to find out his father isn't dead after all, and is in fact alive and well.

Dr Jones Sr believes he has discovered the secret of the mystical Crystal Skull, an artefact said to confer the power to control the wills of men. He had faked his own death as anti-Communist thugs also interested in the Skull had threatened him. At the same time that Indy is rediscovering his father, so are the thugs who have tailed him across Mexico.

Basically, a faction of the CIA/FBI wants control of the Skull so they can seek out and destroy all Communists in the US. In a radical turn of events, Indy and Jones Sr end up as fugitives from the American government, wrongly tarred with crimes they didn't commit. In a race against time to find the Skull before the CIA/FBI do.

 

[Kung Fucious]

If we're pitching our alternate Indy IV ideas, here's mine: Indiana Jones and the Lost Horizon (keep in mind this is with the POD I pitched earlier where this takes the place of Jurassic Park).

The year is 1947. The war is over, but everyone feels like they've been put through the ringer. Yes, the Germans and the Japanese have been defeated, but the revelation of the Axis' crimes against humanity, and looming Soviet threat, make it hard to feel like it was worth it in the end. We find Indy still working as a college professor, but he's definitely gained a few more years, and a lot more mileage. His war-time experience has left him drained and unenthusiastic about his career, and he contemplates quitting archaeology altogether (shades here of "The Best Years of our Lives"). His father has passed away, he's lost touch with his old friends, he's not doing great.

Suddenly, he's called into a meeting with a few men from the newly-formed CIA. The Civil War is still raging in China, and there have been rumors that a rogue nationalist General (who was rumoured to have collaborated with the Japanese against the Communists) has been looking for some kind of artifact that will let him eliminate the KMT and the PRC, and set himself up as some kind of God-Emperor. No one bought his story until he turned up in Macau selling artifacts on the black market that don't match anything on record. Finally, the CIA spooks drop the bombshell: there's rumors he's found the path to "Shambala", the mythical Tibetan city. The CIA, looking to preserve the balance of power in Asia (foreshadowing the coming Korean War) want Indy to stop him.

We follow Indy from Macau, up to Mongolia (maybe track down some lost Genghis Khan stuff), then through the Chinese heartland (where we see the aftereffects of the Sino-Japanese War, and the ongoing Chinese Civil War), all the way to the Tibetan plateau and the Himalayas. Indy beats the General to Shambala, meets with the High Llama that runs the place, and is able to achieve a some kind inner peace. In the end, Indy destroys the entrance to Shambala (wiping out the Warlord's forces in the process) to protect it from the outside world, but he leaves knowing that the "worlds is a fine place, and worth fighting for).

In the end, he winds up on Marian's doorstep, and (after some flirty shit-talking) she invites him in for "a drink", hinting that they'll rekindle their relationship.

 

[Richard V]

You need to watch The Mummy III.

 

[Kung Fucious]

You need to watch The Mummy III.

Some of that may (OR MAY NOT WHO SAID IT WAS) have been influenced by the Mummy III.

It's more a riff on the black and white classic Lost Horizon, albeit ending with Indy choosing to leave Shambala rather than stay. The idea would that, since this is taking the place of Jurassic Park, you'd riff on the idea of the Cold War ending and the multiple mico-conflicts the US was involved in at the time (Somalia, Yugoslavia, Rwanda), but having Indy come out on the other side thinking that there are still things worth fighting for. Think of it as a spiritual successor to Temple of Doom, in the way that Last Crusade was an attempt to ape the style of Raiders.

 

[omnimercurial]

I guess I'm in the Minority as I liked the Temple of Doom. I found the Non Abrahamic Mysticism refreshing although I will concede the points made about using a more well known Artifact/Item than the Stones/Rocks from ToD. Maybe the Japanese would have been a good idea with the Three Royal Treasures of Amaterasu eg: The Sword, Mirror and Gem?
Alternatively how about the Greek Artifacts used to defeat Medusa like a Magic Reflecting Mirror Shield or even Medusas head itself? Someone suggested Thors Hammer which is interesting but what about Dragons Blood or Water from the River Styx to confer Invulnerability?

Still if Abrahamic is preferred which I don't mind as ToD has already showed a non Monoculture of Mysticism then perhaps the Lance of Longinus? A Nail of the Cross?

The 4th Film to me was a big disappointment I have to admit but South America is a rich enviroment to draw from mystically which was sadly a wasted opportunity.

If Aliens have to be done the South America was foolish. Roswell should suffice and if you really want to exercise Indies Archeological Chops. and keep the Commies involved then what about infiltrating the USSR to investigate Tunguska?

India's Upanishad also has many hints of Extraterrestrial Ships and Pseudo Nuclear Weapons so maybe India should have been the Locale again but have the Alien aspect actually shock Indy as an OCP to what he is used too.

 

[Dan Reilly The Great]

Indie goes to R'lyeh.