A bit of comic relief. Famous People in Alternate Realities where they are Failures. That's right you read that right. Obama can wind up a cracked out homeboy, Hillary a waitress in a hash house. Pope John Pual II a butcher in Krakow. The rules, there none. Multiple uses of people is not only allowed it is encouraged. Let your imagination run free
A bit of comic relief Famous People in Alternate Realities where they are Failures
- Thread starter Kevin Renner
- Start date
Adolf Hitler: Failed artist in munich. He died penniless before the out break of WWI.
Joseph Stalin: Killed during the Red Revolution
John F. Kennedy: Killed after his Torpedo Boat crashed into a Japanese Submarine. he fell off the boat and was not found.
Joseph Stalin: Killed during the Red Revolution
John F. Kennedy: Killed after his Torpedo Boat crashed into a Japanese Submarine. he fell off the boat and was not found.
Bill Clinton runs a pornographic magazine known as "Slick Willie's" which has surpassed Playboy as America's most popular source of smut.
George W. Bush owns the worst baseball team in the American League.
Ronald Reagan is an actor regularly panned for his poor performances.
Arnold Schwarzenegger just left an 8-year term as President of the United States.
Saddam Hussein is a retired Royal Iraqi Army colonel living in a small house in Tikrit.
George W. Bush owns the worst baseball team in the American League.
Ronald Reagan is an actor regularly panned for his poor performances.
Arnold Schwarzenegger just left an 8-year term as President of the United States.
Saddam Hussein is a retired Royal Iraqi Army colonel living in a small house in Tikrit.
Julia Roberts: Hooker, works the streets around Hollywood...her favourite movie is Pretty Woman starring Molly Ringwald.
Mariah Carey: Solo mum works behind the check out counter of a supermarket , only keeping her job (that she can't afford to lose) because she sleeping with the bosses geeky son.
Vladimar Putin: Died in Afghanistan 1980 when a grenade was thrown into a small ditch while he was answering the call of nature.
Mariah Carey: Solo mum works behind the check out counter of a supermarket , only keeping her job (that she can't afford to lose) because she sleeping with the bosses geeky son.
Vladimar Putin: Died in Afghanistan 1980 when a grenade was thrown into a small ditch while he was answering the call of nature.
Bill Clinton: Former Arkansas attorney general (1977-1979). Better known as a musician. Became briefly well-known during the 1980's for composing the recording the theme to the television sitcom Nightcourt. His one and only CD, Bill Clinton's Sax On The Beach was a commercial failure. He currently lives in Hope, Arkansas where he practices law.
George W. Bush: Son of former Vice President George Bush. Former owner of the Texas Rangers baseball team. Former Commissioner of Baseball (1992-2003). Forced to resign as baseball commissioner after stories or rampant steroid abuse in the league came to light.
Harry Turtledove: Professor of History at the University of Mexifornia Los Angeles. Had moderate commercial success with his alternate history book Guns Of The North, which speculated about what would happen if the United States of America had defeated the Confederate States of America during the War For Southern Independence. As a result of the books publication, the CSA sentenced Dr. Turtledove to death in absentia. As a result, Dr. Turtledove cannot enter the CSA, or any of the US or Mexifornian states bordering the CSA. As a result of the CSA's reaction to his book, Dr. Turtledove decided to end his writing career.
Barack Obama: Former professional surfer. His cocaine addiction rocked the surfing world in 1990. Soon after, Obama retired from the sport. Currently lives in the US state of Hawaii, where he works as a professional bounty hunter.
George W. Bush: Son of former Vice President George Bush. Former owner of the Texas Rangers baseball team. Former Commissioner of Baseball (1992-2003). Forced to resign as baseball commissioner after stories or rampant steroid abuse in the league came to light.
Harry Turtledove: Professor of History at the University of Mexifornia Los Angeles. Had moderate commercial success with his alternate history book Guns Of The North, which speculated about what would happen if the United States of America had defeated the Confederate States of America during the War For Southern Independence. As a result of the books publication, the CSA sentenced Dr. Turtledove to death in absentia. As a result, Dr. Turtledove cannot enter the CSA, or any of the US or Mexifornian states bordering the CSA. As a result of the CSA's reaction to his book, Dr. Turtledove decided to end his writing career.
Barack Obama: Former professional surfer. His cocaine addiction rocked the surfing world in 1990. Soon after, Obama retired from the sport. Currently lives in the US state of Hawaii, where he works as a professional bounty hunter.
George Romero: Disgraced Director after his first and only film 'Night of the Flesh Eaters', in which all the main charactors are killed or eaten. He had given specific instructions to his main actors to keep out of the public veiw for three months, prompting many to believe they had acctually died.
Prince Fredrick Wilhelm of Prussia: accidenlty killed by Sharp shooter Anne Oakley, in a shooting stunt gone wrong.
Anne Oakley: drank herself to death following the 'Wilhelm' incident.
Prince Fredrick Wilhelm of Prussia: accidenlty killed by Sharp shooter Anne Oakley, in a shooting stunt gone wrong.
Anne Oakley: drank herself to death following the 'Wilhelm' incident.
'More tea, Frankie?'
'Damnit, witch, let me be!'
He wheels himself over to the window, looking out at bleak and barren 1953 beyond. Born to wealth and fortune, he has inherited -- this. A convalescent existence in a retirement home for those in penury, abandoned by his family and friends, his useless withered legs merely dragging along the carpet.
It was Wilson, he reminded himself -- Wilson and his useless vendettas. Or Eleanor's vindictive, endless crusades against him. Or this, or that, or...
Regardless, here he is: paralysed, constantly riddled with heart problems and blood on the brain, penniless and without succour. He is one of nearly a hundred million Americans who inhabit such squalor, but he is -- special.
For he is Franklin Delano Roosevelt, heir to America's greatest dynasty. And he dies broken and alone in Riverview Retirement Home, utterly without distinction.
'Damnit, witch, let me be!'
He wheels himself over to the window, looking out at bleak and barren 1953 beyond. Born to wealth and fortune, he has inherited -- this. A convalescent existence in a retirement home for those in penury, abandoned by his family and friends, his useless withered legs merely dragging along the carpet.
It was Wilson, he reminded himself -- Wilson and his useless vendettas. Or Eleanor's vindictive, endless crusades against him. Or this, or that, or...
Regardless, here he is: paralysed, constantly riddled with heart problems and blood on the brain, penniless and without succour. He is one of nearly a hundred million Americans who inhabit such squalor, but he is -- special.
For he is Franklin Delano Roosevelt, heir to America's greatest dynasty. And he dies broken and alone in Riverview Retirement Home, utterly without distinction.
Jimmy Carter: A Georgian hobo living in a gutter after losimg his leg in a gang shootout.
Adolf Sicklegruber: A failed radical politician in Germany, riducled for his last name. Commited suicide in 1924.
Vladimir Lenin: A quiet old man who ran a barber shop in St. Petersburg. Died of old age in 1943.
Adolf Sicklegruber: A failed radical politician in Germany, riducled for his last name. Commited suicide in 1924.
Vladimir Lenin: A quiet old man who ran a barber shop in St. Petersburg. Died of old age in 1943.
H.P. Lovecraft: A bitter old racist, died alone in an asylum for the criminally insane after killing his black maid in the delusion that she was a worshipper of ancient evils.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: A drunken street musician, died in the gutter.
William Shakespeare: A second-rate hack known mostly for his bitter tirades against Christopher Marlowe.
Benito Mussolini: Brought to America at a young age, he had moderate success in La Cosa Nostra before overstepping his bounds and being gunned down in a play for power.
Angelina Jolie: Stripper with eight children by her husband Billy Bob Thornton, a night watchman.
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: A drunken street musician, died in the gutter.
William Shakespeare: A second-rate hack known mostly for his bitter tirades against Christopher Marlowe.
Benito Mussolini: Brought to America at a young age, he had moderate success in La Cosa Nostra before overstepping his bounds and being gunned down in a play for power.
Angelina Jolie: Stripper with eight children by her husband Billy Bob Thornton, a night watchman.
Ronald Reagan: B-movie actor with little recognition. His best known scene is from 1980s somewhat-famous movie "Mongol" where he leads Mongol hordes and upon coming to Chinese wall he yells "tear down this wall".
Charles de Gaulle: gained recognition among dog-breeders for high quality of his dogs which went to win several awards at dog shows but largely unknown outside this circle
Osama bin Laden: martyr figure among Afghan mujahedeen, killed while attacking soviet outpost in Afghanistan in 1987, few people not interested in this conflict heard of him and not many who study it heard of him either
Fidel Castro: cuban revolutionary leading failed revolution on this island in 1950s, escaped to Florida where he turned to organised crime. Movie "Scarface" is loosely based on his life
Boris Jeltsin: tragic figure of russian politics, showed great promise during transformation and collapse of Soviet Union but turned to drink and was sidelined as result
Josip Vissarionovich Dzugashvili: orthodox priest living in monastery in Georgia, know as "Stalin" (man of steel) among friends for his great strength
Charles de Gaulle: gained recognition among dog-breeders for high quality of his dogs which went to win several awards at dog shows but largely unknown outside this circle
Osama bin Laden: martyr figure among Afghan mujahedeen, killed while attacking soviet outpost in Afghanistan in 1987, few people not interested in this conflict heard of him and not many who study it heard of him either
Fidel Castro: cuban revolutionary leading failed revolution on this island in 1950s, escaped to Florida where he turned to organised crime. Movie "Scarface" is loosely based on his life
Boris Jeltsin: tragic figure of russian politics, showed great promise during transformation and collapse of Soviet Union but turned to drink and was sidelined as result
Josip Vissarionovich Dzugashvili: orthodox priest living in monastery in Georgia, know as "Stalin" (man of steel) among friends for his great strength
Hendryk
Banned
In my "Superpower Empire" TL, George W. Bush is a failed businessman with a drinking problem. See Midgard's story "Sodom and Gomorrah send their regards".
Hendryk
Banned
He allegedly got over the drinking problem part in OTL
Oh, and in that same story you get to meet Billy Graham, who never went into religion. That isn't technically a failure, but that means he isn't a household name as in OTL.
MrP
Banned
Gaius Julius Caesar: mistakenly slain by pirates.
Gaius Octavius Thurinus: died of a childhood illness.
Douglas Haig: tragically maimed during a cavalry skirmish during the 1898 Omdurman Campaign leading to his subsequent retirement from the army.
Joseph Jacques Césaire Joffre: killed during the Siege of Paris.
I think Monty turns up in one of the What If? books as a drunken old staff officer during WWII.
Gaius Octavius Thurinus: died of a childhood illness.
Douglas Haig: tragically maimed during a cavalry skirmish during the 1898 Omdurman Campaign leading to his subsequent retirement from the army.
Joseph Jacques Césaire Joffre: killed during the Siege of Paris.
I think Monty turns up in one of the What If? books as a drunken old staff officer during WWII.
aktarian said:
catboy637 said:
Well, these depend on our definition on what constitutes a failure. Personally, I am rather partial to the thought someone wrote on another forum that "[OTL] Hitler was a failed Hitler"
And, holding that thought:
Philip Kindred Dick: the 37th President of the United States (1969-1981). Most well known for his massive expansion of the Vietnam War. His eventual use of nuclear weapons to subdue North Vietnam was followed by the Crisis of 1971, during which global thermonuclear war was only narrowly averted. In domestic policy, Dick is best remembered for authorizing the CIA for starting the clandestine operations codenamed Valis and Ubik, the first being a comprehensive domestic anti-dissident spying and infiltration program and the latter, a large-scale program of experimenting with mind control by chemical substances on the general population, disguised as a national anti-narcotics agenda.
ninebucks
Banned
Tony Blair: Failed musician, and later club organiser. Goes bankrupt in the mid-90s and loses his trophy wife. Gives up on trendy London life and later buys a pub up North. His customers, of whom they are few, think that he is pleasant enough, but with an air of wankerishness about him.
Gordon Brown: Scottish rugby player. Spent most of his career off the field, only playing once against Italy, where he fumbled with the ball, and became a laughing stock. Retires from the sport and accepts a job as an accountant at a moderately successful club.
Gordon Brown: Scottish rugby player. Spent most of his career off the field, only playing once against Italy, where he fumbled with the ball, and became a laughing stock. Retires from the sport and accepts a job as an accountant at a moderately successful club.
Winston Churchill: A rising star in the Conservative governments of the 1920s, his tenure as Chancellor of the Exchequer only helped to worsen Britain's economic position in the wake of the Great Depression. Greatly depressed by being 'cast of into the wilderness' he went to America where in 1931 he was hit by a car in New York. Suffering numerous broken bones, Churchill only finally returned to Parliament in 1933. However the new National Government refused to bring him back and 'kicked him upstairs' to the House of Lords as Lord Blenheim. From here he would aide Eden, Macmillan, Attlee and others in raising awareness of German rearmament.
His last ministerial post would be a brief stint as Minister for Air before Eden's government fell in the 1944 post-war election to Attlee's Labour Party.
Lord Blenheim died in 1947 at the age of 73, his chronic cigar smoking and alcoholism no doubt taking their toll.
His unfinished memoirs simply entitled My life are highly regarded as an insight into the dying days of the British Empire and its aristocratic leadership
His last ministerial post would be a brief stint as Minister for Air before Eden's government fell in the 1944 post-war election to Attlee's Labour Party.
Lord Blenheim died in 1947 at the age of 73, his chronic cigar smoking and alcoholism no doubt taking their toll.
His unfinished memoirs simply entitled My life are highly regarded as an insight into the dying days of the British Empire and its aristocratic leadership