The Ballad of Sailor Bill: A Timeline of the Tortoise in the White House

Pyongyang Problems

This one stretches the definition of ‘gaffe’ considering that it was entirely intentional. But when North Korean State TV insulted Sailor Bill in 2006, it angered even those used to North Korea’s hostility to the United States. Official statements from the White House followed. South Koreans were reportedly bemused.
Am I the only one here wondering precisely what it was that the North Koreans said?
 
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Am I the only one here wondering precisely what it was that the North Koreans said?
And then the eagle lets go.
And almost always the tortoise plunges to its death. Everyone knows why the tortoise does this. Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off. No one knows why the eagle does this. There’s good eating on a tortoise but, considering the effort involved, there’s much better eating on practically anything else. It’s simply the delight of eagles to torment tortoises.
But of course, what the eagle does not realize is that it is participating in a very crude form of natural selection.
One day a tortoise will learn how to fly.

-Terry Pratchett, Small Gods
GNU Terry Pratchett
 
Before this morning I had no idea how much I wanted, nay needed, nay the world needed, a TL about a White House Tortoise. Bravissimo, Your Majesty. Bravissimo!

Five out of Four Tortoises. 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢/4

Mrs. Khan, an aficionado of Turtles and Tortoises and Terrapins and the like, wholly approves and feels that Sailor Bill needs a commemorative Chart Topping song for his passing, ala Little Sebastian in Parks & Rec ("Ten Thousand Candles in the Wind").

I think the world needs a transcript of Sailor Bill with Bob Hope on a USO Tour and would gladly volunteer my time to make one if you'd grant me the honor.
 

Stretch

Donor
Those memes are just *chef's kiss*!

Of course, there's an evil version lol.

Australia probably has a small kangaroo family, as koalas are either too lazy, or their claws are too sharp for the right "child-friendly and sociable" mix that Sailor Bill represents.
 
Before this morning I had no idea how much I wanted, nay needed, nay the world needed, a TL about a White House Tortoise. Bravissimo, Your Majesty. Bravissimo!

Five out of Four Tortoises. 🐢🐢🐢🐢🐢/4

Mrs. Khan, an aficionado of Turtles and Tortoises and Terrapins and the like, wholly approves and feels that Sailor Bill needs a commemorative Chart Topping song for his passing, ala Little Sebastian in Parks & Rec ("Ten Thousand Candles in the Wind").

I think the world needs a transcript of Sailor Bill with Bob Hope on a USO Tour and would gladly volunteer my time to make one if you'd grant me the honor.
By all means. Anyone is free to play in the Sailor Bill sandbox!
 
I know that Sailor Bill is mostly for the presidency and the white house, but I do wonder if Sailor Bill ever have visited Congress or the Pentagon.

Edit: Would be cool to also know if Sailor Bill also visited the supreme court, maybe his presence made some influence in some decisions
 
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Man, despite not diverging much from OTL, at least in signifigant ways (I would have had a few butterflues give us different presidents as early as the 80's or 90's), this is a wholesome and funny little TL.
 
I know that Sailor Bill is mostly for the presidency and the white house, but I do wonder if Sailor Bill ever have visited Congress or the Pentagon.

Edit: Would be cool to also know if Sailor Bill also visited the supreme court, maybe his presence made some influence in some decisions
I think congress might have been possible to push for navy funds,as he is technically part of the navy, I don't think he would visit Pentagon
 
Man, despite not diverging much from OTL, at least in signifigant ways (I would have had a few butterflues give us different presidents as early as the 80's or 90's), this is a wholesome and funny little TL.
I mean I agree on butterflying some presidents away but no matter what I like the wholesome little timeline.
 
I know that Sailor Bill is mostly for the presidency and the white house, but I do wonder if Sailor Bill ever have visited Congress or the Pentagon.

Edit: Would be cool to also know if Sailor Bill also visited the supreme court, maybe his presence made some influence in some decisions
He’d take forever to crawl down Pennsylvania Avenue. I’d like to see the CNN coverage. The ratings would be through the roof, I bet.
 
I can see more modern White Houses having a Sailor Bill feed, and updates when he goes to the national zoo for health check ups.
 
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