I don't know how (or if) you can embed youtube videos on here so here is a link of how Hitler died:
https://youtu.be/J2_tJIgfnDA
https://youtu.be/J2_tJIgfnDA
Hilarious Ways For Hitler to Die
- Thread starter GlobalHumanism
- Start date
RodentRevolution
Banned
Hitler finds a sheaf of papers entitled "Hilarious Ways for Marx to Die". He reads them as he walks along to once again apply for Vienna's Academy of Fine Arts.
Walking around reading, he begins laughing so much he fails to notice the motorbus in time as he steps the pavement to cross the street.
A short while later as a crowd gathers around the tragic accident a red faced AH.com time explorer collects as many pages as he can while desperately trying to work out how to explain all of this to Ian the Time Travel engineer
Walking around reading, he begins laughing so much he fails to notice the motorbus in time as he steps the pavement to cross the street.
A short while later as a crowd gathers around the tragic accident a red faced AH.com time explorer collects as many pages as he can while desperately trying to work out how to explain all of this to Ian the Time Travel engineer
Hitler dances the can can off a stage into a tuba where he suffocates I don't even know where this one came from
I don't even know where this one came fromOn the night of June 30th, 1934, Hitler ordered his closest ally Herich Himmler to dispatch a detachment of elite SS security guards to eliminate the threat of an SA coup lead by Ernst Rohm.
At the same time, Ernst Rohm ordered his security detail to dispatch an elite brigade of SA troops to eliminate Hitler and other leading Nazis in an attempted coup.
Both forces arrive at each other's quarters (and their allies' quarters) simultaneously and quite double-handily wipe out the entire leadership structure of the Nazi party.
On the morning of July 1st, the German people wake up to the news with pictures of confused *sholder-shrugging* Nazi grunts printed on the front page of daily newspapers
History remembers the calamitous event as the "Night of the Double Knives", respectively.
At the same time, Ernst Rohm ordered his security detail to dispatch an elite brigade of SA troops to eliminate Hitler and other leading Nazis in an attempted coup.
Both forces arrive at each other's quarters (and their allies' quarters) simultaneously and quite double-handily wipe out the entire leadership structure of the Nazi party.
On the morning of July 1st, the German people wake up to the news with pictures of confused *sholder-shrugging* Nazi grunts printed on the front page of daily newspapers
History remembers the calamitous event as the "Night of the Double Knives", respectively.
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redlightning
Banned
Hitler climbs to the top of the Eiffel tower and dies in an elevator accident when the cables snap.
Hitler shoots himself in the foot whilst threatening Eva Braun and bleeds out as Eva lies out cold next to him
Hitler loses his game of chess to Vladimir Lenin. Infuriated, he throws a tantrum. Lenin is rather displeased and a few years later sends the Cheka to take care of him.
Hitler gets rejected from the Academy, but doesn't give up. He just paints. A lot. So much in fact that the paint fumes begin to addle his brain, and he eventually swallows some believing it to be wine.
Hitler gets rejected from the Academy, but doesn't give up. He just paints. A lot. So much in fact that the paint fumes begin to addle his brain, and he eventually swallows some believing it to be wine.
+50 for another Hitler Gets Devoured by Dogs/Wolves post on this thread
How about this one then.
The Soviets somehow capture Hitler, cover him with Female Wolf pheromones and throw him in a cage with a pack of Horny Male Wolves.
The Director
Banned
In the 20XX, the United States Space Force was faced with overextension from patrolling both the vast frontiers of time and space. To combat this, the President Xavier Clementine authorized the creation of the CHRONOMARINES- a outfit made of highly trained, skilled and motivated US Marines. Their first mission was to take out an arms dealer supplying advanced weaponry to the Third Reich. Their orders were to neutralize the arms dealer and behead the Nazi War Machine before the Axis could steamroll Moscow. Intel suggested that the arms dealer was meeting with the Nazi High Command at a secret bunker complex under Berlin. The Marines warped into the bunker complex- and one of them warped straight Heinreich Himmler, telefragging the Nazi Bastard. The Marines continued to clear the room, mowing down several Nazi guards and giving the arms dealer a faceful of buckshot. Next a Marine railgunned Reinhard Heydrich, splattering him all around the room while another punched Albert Speer's face in with a powerfist. Finally the Fuhrer himself attempted to whip out a Luger, but it was too late for him. The Marine Sergeant ripped off the Fuhrer's leg, and crushed his head with it. That's right- Hitler got curbstomped with his own foot. You could call it a... Curbstomp Victory.
I've been playing a lot of Brutal Doom.
I've been playing a lot of Brutal Doom.
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Mussolini challenges Hitler to fencing match - Il Duce wins the match but accidentally kills Hitler.
Perkeo
Banned
Just before the end of the war, Hitler visits a shooting exercise of a squadron of Hitler youth. One of them happens to be Solomon Perel.
NamelesStatistic
Banned
He chokes on his Wurst at one of those Riech-sponsored Aryan culture festivals.
A quick re-post that seemed fitting
And now a word from the Adolf Hitler Preservation Society . . . .
Did you know that less that 20% of Hitlers in the multiverse remain in their natural habitat?
Every year a virtual horde of would be temporal dimension hopping would-be heroes with a sharp stick head to their nearest 19th century Austria intent on killing their resident Schicklegruber. Cyborgs, Elite Government Assassins, Psychics, Wizards, Goats, the list goes on and on.
But with all of this firepower descending from every cosmic angle its not just Nazi Hitlers, Soviet Hitlers, Occult Hitlers, etc. that are being run down and gun down in the crosstime traffic.
Sometimes its the successful architect Hitler, Male prostitute Hitler, Moved to England and opened a pub Hitler, Got psychiatric Help from Sigmund Freud Hitler, etc. that is eliminated.
What can I do to help? Well with a simple donation we here at the AHPS can move that bomb behind a large wooden table leg, or freeze it in the plane that carries it, we can have Hitler also get up and leave before the explosion occurs.
Remember the Devil You know is better and every story needs a villain. Why settle for second best? (Yes we're talking to you Uncle Joe)
AHPS
c/o Lou Cipher
666 Spiggott Circle
Hell, Michigan 48169
And now a word from the Adolf Hitler Preservation Society . . . .
Did you know that less that 20% of Hitlers in the multiverse remain in their natural habitat?
Every year a virtual horde of would be temporal dimension hopping would-be heroes with a sharp stick head to their nearest 19th century Austria intent on killing their resident Schicklegruber. Cyborgs, Elite Government Assassins, Psychics, Wizards, Goats, the list goes on and on.
But with all of this firepower descending from every cosmic angle its not just Nazi Hitlers, Soviet Hitlers, Occult Hitlers, etc. that are being run down and gun down in the crosstime traffic.
Sometimes its the successful architect Hitler, Male prostitute Hitler, Moved to England and opened a pub Hitler, Got psychiatric Help from Sigmund Freud Hitler, etc. that is eliminated.
What can I do to help? Well with a simple donation we here at the AHPS can move that bomb behind a large wooden table leg, or freeze it in the plane that carries it, we can have Hitler also get up and leave before the explosion occurs.
Remember the Devil You know is better and every story needs a villain. Why settle for second best? (Yes we're talking to you Uncle Joe)
AHPS
c/o Lou Cipher
666 Spiggott Circle
Hell, Michigan 48169
Also worth noting, if you ascribe to the infinite parallel universes theory, every idea we all come up with may well be creating universes where a Hitler has perished based on your idea.