Deganawatha (Haudenosaunee Imperium restart)
- Thread starter Prime Minister
- Start date
It seems Theyanoguin wants to overthrow the matriarchal lineage based society. Hope Deganawatha can stop him, but he seems tempted too...
As the raising of children, it's true that the uncles were more of a father figure, but that was because the fathers were usually gone all the time hunting and such. The only males in the village would be the children and the elderly, which lead to the age old saying "villages are run by the women, while the forests are for the men." Overall, a lot of Native societies of the more chiefdoms and hunter/gatherer type had their children raised by the grandparents. There's another teaching that "The children leaned to be adults by the elders, so the adults could learn how to become elders."
I'll have to ask some of my older relatives about this, they might remember more on family dynamics back then. Though most likely I'm going to have to consult some of my books.
Also we had dogs, and loved them very much. Early Europeans that came to us were really weirded out how good we treated them; except we'd often clean our hands by rubbing them on the dogs. There's a funny fact for you. If they bred the wolves more with the dogs, to produce a stronger canine, defiantly see that and it keeps with what you're trying to accomplish.
It's really good though. Love seeing my peeps as the stars and in a more traditional setting.
As the raising of children, it's true that the uncles were more of a father figure, but that was because the fathers were usually gone all the time hunting and such. The only males in the village would be the children and the elderly, which lead to the age old saying "villages are run by the women, while the forests are for the men." Overall, a lot of Native societies of the more chiefdoms and hunter/gatherer type had their children raised by the grandparents. There's another teaching that "The children leaned to be adults by the elders, so the adults could learn how to become elders."
I'll have to ask some of my older relatives about this, they might remember more on family dynamics back then. Though most likely I'm going to have to consult some of my books.
Also we had dogs, and loved them very much. Early Europeans that came to us were really weirded out how good we treated them; except we'd often clean our hands by rubbing them on the dogs. There's a funny fact for you. If they bred the wolves more with the dogs, to produce a stronger canine, defiantly see that and it keeps with what you're trying to accomplish.
It's really good though. Love seeing my peeps as the stars and in a more traditional setting.
Last edited:
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Theyanoguin roared through the Great Longhouse, beaming in his victory. He had been named as Indisputable Chief of the Kanien'gehaga. Not even the Clan Mothers were now able to question him. As Deganawatha survaid the assembly at the Longhouse he saw many Kanien'gehaga cheering for their Chief, but others kept their heads low, some yet looked at their Chief with loathing venom in their eyes. Yet Theyanoguin seemed not to notice the vile from some of his own tribesmen. Finally he sat, taking a free spot near Deganawatha.
"You seen Onondaga?" He said in a too friendly manner. "It is simple and natural that I lead. Simple and natural that," He looked over to Kirit and the others near by. "that we lead." Deganawatha nodded despite himself. He was yet to decide what to make of Theyanoguin's offer. Theyanoguin once again turned to Deganawatha, once again to ask him to take his side, but at that moment a messenger ran into the Longhouse stopping before Deganawatha.
"Chief Deganawatha. I have been asked to find you by the Healers of Buckaloon. You're father's spirit is leaving the world. There is not much time."
The fear on Deganawatha's face must have shown, he was atracting attention from the others around him. Theyanoguin nodded to him, and Kirit lifted him to his feet. "Go Onondaga." Theyanoguin said. "I could not be with my father when his spirit departed. You must be with yours."
A short while later Deganawatha entered his village, heading for his clan's Longhouse. Upon Entering he saw his father laying on skins, his face covered in beads of sweat despite the cool air. Around him were other clan members, Deganawatha's aunts and uncles. Orenda stood when she saw him, walking over wrapping her arms around his neck, her face hot and wet with tears. "There is not much time Degana." She whispered her voice heavy with sorrow. With out a word Deganawatha moved away from his wife and walked over to his father. His eyes were grey and unfocused, he spoke loudly almost as unto himself. "Deganawatha! My son. Where is my son. I must see my boy." Taking his father's hand in his own Deganawatha fought to hold back tears.
"I am here father. I have come for you." He said running a free hand over his father's forehead, keeping the sweat from his eyes.
"My son. My only child." His hands were thin and weakly clasped his child's hands in his own. "I must speak with you. You, you must remember my stories my son. As I remember my father's words...." He spoke, for so long, past the setting of the sun and as the moon hung high in the night sky. Until late in the night, as the first hints of the sun's return broke in the far distance. Otetiani of the Wolf Clan of the Onondaga mumbled, repeating the names of his wife, and his friends his last spoken words hanging in the air. "...Deganawatha, my son. Remember my words." As his grip on his son's hands fell, and his last breath left his body. His face falling to his father's chest for the first time since he was a child, Deganawatha wept, staining his fathers wrappings with his tears.
"A man's last hope is always to be heard, one last time. To be remembered." The elderly clan mother said softly placing a hand on the weeping Chief.
He had not known it then. But the words of the clan mother had already begun to work their way deep into the mind of the Onondaga Chief.
Theyanoguin roared through the Great Longhouse, beaming in his victory. He had been named as Indisputable Chief of the Kanien'gehaga. Not even the Clan Mothers were now able to question him. As Deganawatha survaid the assembly at the Longhouse he saw many Kanien'gehaga cheering for their Chief, but others kept their heads low, some yet looked at their Chief with loathing venom in their eyes. Yet Theyanoguin seemed not to notice the vile from some of his own tribesmen. Finally he sat, taking a free spot near Deganawatha.
"You seen Onondaga?" He said in a too friendly manner. "It is simple and natural that I lead. Simple and natural that," He looked over to Kirit and the others near by. "that we lead." Deganawatha nodded despite himself. He was yet to decide what to make of Theyanoguin's offer. Theyanoguin once again turned to Deganawatha, once again to ask him to take his side, but at that moment a messenger ran into the Longhouse stopping before Deganawatha.
"Chief Deganawatha. I have been asked to find you by the Healers of Buckaloon. You're father's spirit is leaving the world. There is not much time."
The fear on Deganawatha's face must have shown, he was atracting attention from the others around him. Theyanoguin nodded to him, and Kirit lifted him to his feet. "Go Onondaga." Theyanoguin said. "I could not be with my father when his spirit departed. You must be with yours."
A short while later Deganawatha entered his village, heading for his clan's Longhouse. Upon Entering he saw his father laying on skins, his face covered in beads of sweat despite the cool air. Around him were other clan members, Deganawatha's aunts and uncles. Orenda stood when she saw him, walking over wrapping her arms around his neck, her face hot and wet with tears. "There is not much time Degana." She whispered her voice heavy with sorrow. With out a word Deganawatha moved away from his wife and walked over to his father. His eyes were grey and unfocused, he spoke loudly almost as unto himself. "Deganawatha! My son. Where is my son. I must see my boy." Taking his father's hand in his own Deganawatha fought to hold back tears.
"I am here father. I have come for you." He said running a free hand over his father's forehead, keeping the sweat from his eyes.
"My son. My only child." His hands were thin and weakly clasped his child's hands in his own. "I must speak with you. You, you must remember my stories my son. As I remember my father's words...." He spoke, for so long, past the setting of the sun and as the moon hung high in the night sky. Until late in the night, as the first hints of the sun's return broke in the far distance. Otetiani of the Wolf Clan of the Onondaga mumbled, repeating the names of his wife, and his friends his last spoken words hanging in the air. "...Deganawatha, my son. Remember my words." As his grip on his son's hands fell, and his last breath left his body. His face falling to his father's chest for the first time since he was a child, Deganawatha wept, staining his fathers wrappings with his tears.
"A man's last hope is always to be heard, one last time. To be remembered." The elderly clan mother said softly placing a hand on the weeping Chief.
He had not known it then. But the words of the clan mother had already begun to work their way deep into the mind of the Onondaga Chief.
Cuāuhtemōc
Banned
That kinda almost made me tear up. It's sad to see Deganawatha's father to pass on; let's hope he can put a stop to Theyanoguin's plans.
Good job.
Good job.
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Deganawatha had not returned to the Great Longhouse since his father's soul passed from this world. He instead had left the world staying in his work room in Onondaga, lost among the bindings. He sent runners to the Longhouse to preform his duties there. Theyanoguin, Kirit, Orenda and others had come to see him. But he had turned them all away.
It was not just his father. Something else had been bothering him as well. Some rot in the back of his mind working it's way towards killing him, if he could not let it be free. His father's words weighed heavy on him, Theyanoguin's words weighed heavy on him. "Words." He thought to himself "So many words."
He thought again about his father. He had told Deganawatha about his youth, had spoken more about his mother than Deganawatha had ever heard. Had talked of Canassatego... Canassatego had spoken for hours before his death. So had Deganawatha's father. He could feel the weight lifting some how. He raised his head looking around the room but lost in thought as his mind raced.
"A man's last hope is always to be heard, one last time. To be remembered." He repeated the Clan Mother's words. Jumping to his feet Deganawatha ran around the room throwing bindings to the floor. Opening another tossing it aside. He spoke his father's words to himself as he did. Mumbling other things all the while yelling in frustration as time passed with no luck. He opened a sack, tossing aside skins and models. Opened boxes and pottery.
"ONE binding!" He yelled in frustration. "Just one! Where is it?" His hands rubbed at his temples, then slid down his face stretching his skin into a face sure to have made little Genesee laugh. Then he saw it, simply sitting behind some sacks, somehow falling out of its place. He had only looked through it a few times, many had avoided the binding that the dead Chief of the Great Canoe had rested on. But no longer.
Deganawatha opened the binding, flipping through it page by page. Each started witch the waving marking in a top corner, all similar, sometimes changing to a new form, reaming like that for some pages, then changing again. He counted them, there were twelve markings, each appearing near thirty times. He looked though the markings seeing other patterns among other common occurring. He felt dizzy, his mind was spinning as he ran his fingers over the art.
But it wasn't art.
He reached the last page. Where the markings got worse, sloppy, failing to stay in lines, before waving off into nothingness.
"Why would a man spend his last days making such art?" Deganwatha said to himself. "To be heard. To be remembered." He lay the binding down open at his work place. "To make his words." Resting his hands on the table, looking down at the binding. Tears of... an emotion Deganawatha would never name, nearly over took him. He ran his fingers across the markings. Thinking of the man who wrote them. Imagining what they may say.
"Words. They are words."
Deganawatha had not returned to the Great Longhouse since his father's soul passed from this world. He instead had left the world staying in his work room in Onondaga, lost among the bindings. He sent runners to the Longhouse to preform his duties there. Theyanoguin, Kirit, Orenda and others had come to see him. But he had turned them all away.
It was not just his father. Something else had been bothering him as well. Some rot in the back of his mind working it's way towards killing him, if he could not let it be free. His father's words weighed heavy on him, Theyanoguin's words weighed heavy on him. "Words." He thought to himself "So many words."
He thought again about his father. He had told Deganawatha about his youth, had spoken more about his mother than Deganawatha had ever heard. Had talked of Canassatego... Canassatego had spoken for hours before his death. So had Deganawatha's father. He could feel the weight lifting some how. He raised his head looking around the room but lost in thought as his mind raced.
"A man's last hope is always to be heard, one last time. To be remembered." He repeated the Clan Mother's words. Jumping to his feet Deganawatha ran around the room throwing bindings to the floor. Opening another tossing it aside. He spoke his father's words to himself as he did. Mumbling other things all the while yelling in frustration as time passed with no luck. He opened a sack, tossing aside skins and models. Opened boxes and pottery.
"ONE binding!" He yelled in frustration. "Just one! Where is it?" His hands rubbed at his temples, then slid down his face stretching his skin into a face sure to have made little Genesee laugh. Then he saw it, simply sitting behind some sacks, somehow falling out of its place. He had only looked through it a few times, many had avoided the binding that the dead Chief of the Great Canoe had rested on. But no longer.
Deganawatha opened the binding, flipping through it page by page. Each started witch the waving marking in a top corner, all similar, sometimes changing to a new form, reaming like that for some pages, then changing again. He counted them, there were twelve markings, each appearing near thirty times. He looked though the markings seeing other patterns among other common occurring. He felt dizzy, his mind was spinning as he ran his fingers over the art.
But it wasn't art.
He reached the last page. Where the markings got worse, sloppy, failing to stay in lines, before waving off into nothingness.
"Why would a man spend his last days making such art?" Deganwatha said to himself. "To be heard. To be remembered." He lay the binding down open at his work place. "To make his words." Resting his hands on the table, looking down at the binding. Tears of... an emotion Deganawatha would never name, nearly over took him. He ran his fingers across the markings. Thinking of the man who wrote them. Imagining what they may say.
"Words. They are words."
I'm not sure how far I will bring the time line forward. Though, "modern ages" I assume you would me a modern level of technology and society. Seeing as they really are about two hundred years away from the "modern" world really.
(Just a short one I know. But I promise things are coming to make up for it.)
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Deganawatha sat with his leg crossed grinding another piece of charred wood into powder, in a bowl placed in his lap. He added small amounts of water mixing up the powder until it was looked as though it were ready to use. He stood walking over to several pieces of birch bark laying across a table along with several open bindings. Placing everything down he lifted a feather he had sharpened to look like the one from the Great Canoe.
He looked over the words drawn onto the binding. He had no idea what sounds they were to make. Or why. So he started to assign meanings to them from what he could see. He looked at the "S" he pictured at snake in his mind. Writing out the letter giving it the sound "Ony", for "onyare" the Mohawk word for the animal. Then the A brought to his mind an arrow head. And so he worked on and on for all fifty different symbols that he saw. Giving each a sound, as best his mind could create. Until finally he had finished. But it would not be enough. No where near enough to gain the attentions of the Great Longhouse.
Taking another, longer piece of bark he... He needed to think of a word for this... He marked out the words to the Great Peace. The story of Deganawida and the forming of the Confederacy. This, this would be a perfect gift.
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Deganawatha sat with his leg crossed grinding another piece of charred wood into powder, in a bowl placed in his lap. He added small amounts of water mixing up the powder until it was looked as though it were ready to use. He stood walking over to several pieces of birch bark laying across a table along with several open bindings. Placing everything down he lifted a feather he had sharpened to look like the one from the Great Canoe.
He looked over the words drawn onto the binding. He had no idea what sounds they were to make. Or why. So he started to assign meanings to them from what he could see. He looked at the "S" he pictured at snake in his mind. Writing out the letter giving it the sound "Ony", for "onyare" the Mohawk word for the animal. Then the A brought to his mind an arrow head. And so he worked on and on for all fifty different symbols that he saw. Giving each a sound, as best his mind could create. Until finally he had finished. But it would not be enough. No where near enough to gain the attentions of the Great Longhouse.
Taking another, longer piece of bark he... He needed to think of a word for this... He marked out the words to the Great Peace. The story of Deganawida and the forming of the Confederacy. This, this would be a perfect gift.
(Screw it, can't sleep, here you go)
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Deganawatha carried his scrolls of birch bark in his hands and his arms as he walked towards the Great Longhouse. It was full, and some members were holding others back from striking down their fellow council members.
"The Great Peace must be respected!"
"...this scum has not respect for the Great Peace how dare you talk to me...."
"Ladies! Warriors! Please! Take your seats! The hatchet was buried long ago!"
"I'll bury a hatchet!" This man made a lunge for Theyanoguin but was stopped by other men. Finally someone noticed that Deganawatha had walked into the room. "Chief Deganawatha. It is Theyanoguin! He has demanded the right to be named Undisputed Chief of the Haudenosaunee! You must speak some sense into him!"
Deganawatha approached the Kanien'gehaga Chief, but as he did Theyanoguin's eyes met his. "GOOD!" He called out. "Now that all the High Chiefs are assembled we can start this meeting in truth! Take you seats and let us be civil about this matter." To his great astonishment Theyanoguin sat down behind his normal forward seat. In his stead Ohstahehte stood to address the Longhouse.
"My fellow Haudenosaaunee!" He spoke clearly. "Surely you must have come to see what has transpired in these last years. Under the guidance of the Great Spirit took Thanoguin's father Tarageorus, and the Kanien'gehaga warriors to claim the great salt waters! Right at the very site where the Great Canoe would come to rest..." As the priest spoke Deganwatha was suddenly aware of someone leaning over his shoulder. His eyes swung to the side to see Theyanoguin. Deganawatha went to speak but before he could he felt the sharp cold of a Water-Skin blade press upon his back.
"There is no more time for your games Onondaga. You will support me now, and I will have what is mine by right. Or I will have your bindings. And I will have your wife, and your child in front of you. And when I am done I will send them to be with your father and that pathetic old man Canassatego. And then, just when you beg for me to let you join them... I will break your legs and give your body to the wolves." He pulled back as the priest ended his speech. Deganawatha's stomach turned as all the hairs of his body stood on end. His mind raced not knowing what he could do.
"....so clearly. Theyanoguin's line is a blessed one! And it is my honour. On behalf of the priesthood. To say to you, that we hold it to be true, The Creator has sent him. And Him alone! To guide our people!" Hisses and shrieks broke out from some of the members. But most sat and looked sickly at the man or woman next to them. "Why do you so thumb your insults at the will of the Great Spirit? Ask of your Chiefs!"
Theyanoguin stood. "Yes! My fellow Chiefs, who among you will support me! Support the Great Spirit's will?"
"I will support you Theyanoguin." Called out the Seneca Chief.
"I....I will... support you." The voice of the Guyohkohnyo Chief was filled with fear. Kirit sat behind her. Deganawatha wondered what had been whispered into her ear.
"You have my utmost support Theyanoguin!" Roared the Chief of the Onayotekaono standing among near the sacred fire.
With that Deganawatha felt all eyes fall upon him. His eyes moved up, meeting the lifeless wooden eyes of the carving taken from the front of the Great Canoe. Then tracing along the assembly his eyes again met Theyanoguin's.
"I support you."
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Deganawatha carried his scrolls of birch bark in his hands and his arms as he walked towards the Great Longhouse. It was full, and some members were holding others back from striking down their fellow council members.
"The Great Peace must be respected!"
"...this scum has not respect for the Great Peace how dare you talk to me...."
"Ladies! Warriors! Please! Take your seats! The hatchet was buried long ago!"
"I'll bury a hatchet!" This man made a lunge for Theyanoguin but was stopped by other men. Finally someone noticed that Deganawatha had walked into the room. "Chief Deganawatha. It is Theyanoguin! He has demanded the right to be named Undisputed Chief of the Haudenosaunee! You must speak some sense into him!"
Deganawatha approached the Kanien'gehaga Chief, but as he did Theyanoguin's eyes met his. "GOOD!" He called out. "Now that all the High Chiefs are assembled we can start this meeting in truth! Take you seats and let us be civil about this matter." To his great astonishment Theyanoguin sat down behind his normal forward seat. In his stead Ohstahehte stood to address the Longhouse.
"My fellow Haudenosaaunee!" He spoke clearly. "Surely you must have come to see what has transpired in these last years. Under the guidance of the Great Spirit took Thanoguin's father Tarageorus, and the Kanien'gehaga warriors to claim the great salt waters! Right at the very site where the Great Canoe would come to rest..." As the priest spoke Deganwatha was suddenly aware of someone leaning over his shoulder. His eyes swung to the side to see Theyanoguin. Deganawatha went to speak but before he could he felt the sharp cold of a Water-Skin blade press upon his back.
"There is no more time for your games Onondaga. You will support me now, and I will have what is mine by right. Or I will have your bindings. And I will have your wife, and your child in front of you. And when I am done I will send them to be with your father and that pathetic old man Canassatego. And then, just when you beg for me to let you join them... I will break your legs and give your body to the wolves." He pulled back as the priest ended his speech. Deganawatha's stomach turned as all the hairs of his body stood on end. His mind raced not knowing what he could do.
"....so clearly. Theyanoguin's line is a blessed one! And it is my honour. On behalf of the priesthood. To say to you, that we hold it to be true, The Creator has sent him. And Him alone! To guide our people!" Hisses and shrieks broke out from some of the members. But most sat and looked sickly at the man or woman next to them. "Why do you so thumb your insults at the will of the Great Spirit? Ask of your Chiefs!"
Theyanoguin stood. "Yes! My fellow Chiefs, who among you will support me! Support the Great Spirit's will?"
"I will support you Theyanoguin." Called out the Seneca Chief.
"I....I will... support you." The voice of the Guyohkohnyo Chief was filled with fear. Kirit sat behind her. Deganawatha wondered what had been whispered into her ear.
"You have my utmost support Theyanoguin!" Roared the Chief of the Onayotekaono standing among near the sacred fire.
With that Deganawatha felt all eyes fall upon him. His eyes moved up, meeting the lifeless wooden eyes of the carving taken from the front of the Great Canoe. Then tracing along the assembly his eyes again met Theyanoguin's.
"I support you."
Last edited:
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Deganawatha sat again alone in the dark. Staring down at nothing. What had he done? He had betrayed his father. He had betrayed Canassatego.
"But I saved my wife and child." He mumbled into the darkness. When at that moment the hangings over the door way that had been holding back they day were torn aside. Kirit stood there looking down upon him. "Come Chief. Council is assembling, the Karahkwa demands you attend this time." He walked away again, returning Deganawatha to his dark solitude. "Karahkwa" The Kanien'gehaga word for the sun. Theyanoguin's pride and arrogance knew no bounds.
Standing, taking with him several scrolls Deganawatha walked to the Great Longhouse. The bright lights of the... Karanhkwa... stung at his eyes. His leather shirts and pants were dirty and torn, he had slept in them for the last few nights. Upon entering the Longhouse he was forced to stop. Where was the council? Only Theyanoguin and the High Chiefs sat around the sacred fire.
"Ah Deganawatha! You join us!" Theyanoguin called. He wore leather woven with Water and Skin-stone, with two great sashes, and upon his head rested a circle of Skin-stone, carve to look as though it were five interwoven arrows. "What do you have with you Chief?" Theyanoguin held out his hand.
"They are, they are my final works on the bindings Chief Theyanoguin."
"Please, Chief. Use my title." Theyanoguin said with anger in his voice.
"Karanhkwa Theyanoguin." He said back, handing Theyanoguin his scrolls. Theyanoguin looked over them, holding them to the side, and upside down, before apparently settling on the side so that the words seemed to move from the bottom of the page up towards the top.
"What is it?" He asked confusion on his face. Deganawatha started to explain what he had found and how he found it. Then how he decided to mark words down on the bark. Unimpressed Theyanoguin tossed one into the flames. Anger and hate boiled in Deganawatha's mind.
"What use could this be? We all know the old stories. Since we were children."
"They, I, if." The other chiefs looked at Deganawatha. "You can use them! My Karanhkwa! Think, your laws, your ideals and ways and words. Not told as others remember them, but, but, but as you say them. As you mark them. Your voice, your words, lasting on forever." He wasn't sure why he was drawn to say that. But this was his life's work. And he felt, as if he knew, they were important. Even if used by Theyanoguin.
Theyanoguin smiled. Then smiled wider. "Very good Deganawatha. Very very good." He looked down at the paper. "And I like how the words grow up in this way. Like the trees." Deganawatha didn't correct him. "I now grant you what I promised I would. You may now form your own Clan, you are freed from the bonds of the Wolf Clan, and your wife from hers. You are now Deganawatha of the..." He looked down at the scrolls. "...Wordmaker Clan, of the Onondaga. Now!" He handed him the scrolls. "Mark down my words, and my laws."
Deganawatha sat again alone in the dark. Staring down at nothing. What had he done? He had betrayed his father. He had betrayed Canassatego.
"But I saved my wife and child." He mumbled into the darkness. When at that moment the hangings over the door way that had been holding back they day were torn aside. Kirit stood there looking down upon him. "Come Chief. Council is assembling, the Karahkwa demands you attend this time." He walked away again, returning Deganawatha to his dark solitude. "Karahkwa" The Kanien'gehaga word for the sun. Theyanoguin's pride and arrogance knew no bounds.
Standing, taking with him several scrolls Deganawatha walked to the Great Longhouse. The bright lights of the... Karanhkwa... stung at his eyes. His leather shirts and pants were dirty and torn, he had slept in them for the last few nights. Upon entering the Longhouse he was forced to stop. Where was the council? Only Theyanoguin and the High Chiefs sat around the sacred fire.
"Ah Deganawatha! You join us!" Theyanoguin called. He wore leather woven with Water and Skin-stone, with two great sashes, and upon his head rested a circle of Skin-stone, carve to look as though it were five interwoven arrows. "What do you have with you Chief?" Theyanoguin held out his hand.
"They are, they are my final works on the bindings Chief Theyanoguin."
"Please, Chief. Use my title." Theyanoguin said with anger in his voice.
"Karanhkwa Theyanoguin." He said back, handing Theyanoguin his scrolls. Theyanoguin looked over them, holding them to the side, and upside down, before apparently settling on the side so that the words seemed to move from the bottom of the page up towards the top.
"What is it?" He asked confusion on his face. Deganawatha started to explain what he had found and how he found it. Then how he decided to mark words down on the bark. Unimpressed Theyanoguin tossed one into the flames. Anger and hate boiled in Deganawatha's mind.
"What use could this be? We all know the old stories. Since we were children."
"They, I, if." The other chiefs looked at Deganawatha. "You can use them! My Karanhkwa! Think, your laws, your ideals and ways and words. Not told as others remember them, but, but, but as you say them. As you mark them. Your voice, your words, lasting on forever." He wasn't sure why he was drawn to say that. But this was his life's work. And he felt, as if he knew, they were important. Even if used by Theyanoguin.
Theyanoguin smiled. Then smiled wider. "Very good Deganawatha. Very very good." He looked down at the paper. "And I like how the words grow up in this way. Like the trees." Deganawatha didn't correct him. "I now grant you what I promised I would. You may now form your own Clan, you are freed from the bonds of the Wolf Clan, and your wife from hers. You are now Deganawatha of the..." He looked down at the scrolls. "...Wordmaker Clan, of the Onondaga. Now!" He handed him the scrolls. "Mark down my words, and my laws."
Cuāuhtemōc
Banned
Aw damn it, Theyanoguin got what he wanted but at least Deganawatha does not have to worry about his wife and child being harmed by the likes of the Karanhkwa. I wonder what sort of changes Theyanoguin would be bringing now that he is the undisputed leader of the Haudenosaaunee! Will the League now consider declaring war and expanding their reach to other tribes? Or will you now focus on something else?
As for your writing, I like it but again, please try harder with doing more longer and perhaps more descriptive updates. If it's difficult for you then just ignore me and continue with your style of writing; I'm enjoying it and I hope to read more from you soon.
As for your writing, I like it but again, please try harder with doing more longer and perhaps more descriptive updates. If it's difficult for you then just ignore me and continue with your style of writing; I'm enjoying it and I hope to read more from you soon.
I have been trying.
Which is a reason I have been working on other TLs too. Practice, I may be stuck in a habit with Deganawatha. And if I cant break it I will try harder with the next part of the Haudenosaunee Saga.
Cuāuhtemōc
Banned
I have been trying.
That's fine. Just understand that I do not critique out of harshness but because your timeline is quite a read (concept and execution is great). Just remember that you can do a little bit better, not to say that this is bad but you can always improve upon your skills as a writer. If you're comfortable with what are you doing now, just continue on. I'll still read it. I find it great!
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
Things could be better. But they could also be worse. The words, their fate, and their power were now in the hands of Theyanoguin. Deganawatha looked over his piles of bark, then at the rows upon rows of others marking words, learning how to write the sounds of the languages. He walked down the rows of people in the Longhouse, looking at the groups of two. One man and one woman from each village in the Confederacy, even several Algonquin had been allowed to attend.
"No, no. Like this." He said as he corrected one man's work. He continued to walk watching as his class marked out the Story of the Great Peace Maker. Near the head of the rows were ten people, who had moved on, already memorizing the symbols and their related sounds. Now they marked, creatively some marked down their own stories, some the old stories, several marked down the Laws Theyanoguin had declared.
"...only my line, my sons and their sons may be named as Karahkwa..."
Deganawatha shook his head, suddenly feeling ill in his guilt for supporting Theyanoguin. But his wife and daughter were safe. And he was able to share his knowledge with others, who would then share it with yet others. It would take a few years, they would start with the children, leaving the adults to to their duties. He looked down smiling at his best student approvingly as he marked out a conversation he and a friend had earlier in the day. His way of making each speaker distinguished was interesting.
Mentally Deganawatha added the man's name to his list. He had a special project in mind. He wanted to copy every word, and picture in every binding in the smallest detail they could manage. Already their pages were wilting and the words fading. He had to keep them alive.
"Chief Deganawatha, come quickly!" A voice said from the doorway.
"What is it?"
"Some one has tried to kill Karanhkwa Theyanoguin!" The man, another Onondaga ran off in the direction of the Great Longhouse. Hopefully the assassin had done more than simply try.
Things could be better. But they could also be worse. The words, their fate, and their power were now in the hands of Theyanoguin. Deganawatha looked over his piles of bark, then at the rows upon rows of others marking words, learning how to write the sounds of the languages. He walked down the rows of people in the Longhouse, looking at the groups of two. One man and one woman from each village in the Confederacy, even several Algonquin had been allowed to attend.
"No, no. Like this." He said as he corrected one man's work. He continued to walk watching as his class marked out the Story of the Great Peace Maker. Near the head of the rows were ten people, who had moved on, already memorizing the symbols and their related sounds. Now they marked, creatively some marked down their own stories, some the old stories, several marked down the Laws Theyanoguin had declared.
"...only my line, my sons and their sons may be named as Karahkwa..."
Deganawatha shook his head, suddenly feeling ill in his guilt for supporting Theyanoguin. But his wife and daughter were safe. And he was able to share his knowledge with others, who would then share it with yet others. It would take a few years, they would start with the children, leaving the adults to to their duties. He looked down smiling at his best student approvingly as he marked out a conversation he and a friend had earlier in the day. His way of making each speaker distinguished was interesting.
Mentally Deganawatha added the man's name to his list. He had a special project in mind. He wanted to copy every word, and picture in every binding in the smallest detail they could manage. Already their pages were wilting and the words fading. He had to keep them alive.
"Chief Deganawatha, come quickly!" A voice said from the doorway.
"What is it?"
"Some one has tried to kill Karanhkwa Theyanoguin!" The man, another Onondaga ran off in the direction of the Great Longhouse. Hopefully the assassin had done more than simply try.
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
All the members of the Great Longhouse was assembled for the first time since Theyanoguin had taken power. The Karanhkwa stood behind seven people, all with their arms tide behind their backs, their faces covered with sacks. Theyanoguin quietly paced behind them, his face twisted into a deep rage.
No one was speaking. It seemed like no one was breathing.
Theyanoguin rubs his arm, a deep gash was bound under cloths and bandages. "This is how I am repaid?" He said gesturing to the bound people before him. "Onayotekaono, Guyohkohnyo, Seneca, Algonquian, Onondaga and even my own precious Kanien'gehaga." He put a foot on the back of one, bound captive kicking them to the ground. From the sounds they made hitting the dirt floor, Deganawatha realised they were female. "Show the faces of the traitors!" Warriors ran up removing the sacks from their faces. As soon as they were exposed Deganawatha's eyes met with on of the bound men.
Kateri the man from his village, was bound his eyes eyes burned hate into Deganawatha's chest. He had two small children, and another coming soon. Deganawatha's mind returned to when they had spoken during the Algonquin war. Theyanoguin took a large wood and skin-stone club from a near by ledge.
"I will not tolerate this treachery." He nudged one of the women bound before him. She let out a small scream, rivers of tears of fear pored down her face. She tried to reach out to take Kateri's hand, who tried to take hers as well.
"No." Deganawatha thought. He had to do something, he wanted to do something. But his legs locked, and his heart pounded in his chest so hard he was afraid others could hear it beating.
Theyanoguin placed the ball of the club at the back of the woman's skull. Kateri stood, lunging himself at Theyanoguin. But he was stopped by the wall that was Kirit. He forced the smaller man back to his knees.
"It seems..." Theyanoguin said turning to face the Great Longhouse. "that we have volunteer." They went and stood behind the man from Buckallon. Kateri looked up again. His eyes, forcing all his hate into Deganawatha's soul, nearly looking as though he were snarling at his fellow Onondaga.
Theyanoguin raised the club high above his head......
All the members of the Great Longhouse was assembled for the first time since Theyanoguin had taken power. The Karanhkwa stood behind seven people, all with their arms tide behind their backs, their faces covered with sacks. Theyanoguin quietly paced behind them, his face twisted into a deep rage.
No one was speaking. It seemed like no one was breathing.
Theyanoguin rubs his arm, a deep gash was bound under cloths and bandages. "This is how I am repaid?" He said gesturing to the bound people before him. "Onayotekaono, Guyohkohnyo, Seneca, Algonquian, Onondaga and even my own precious Kanien'gehaga." He put a foot on the back of one, bound captive kicking them to the ground. From the sounds they made hitting the dirt floor, Deganawatha realised they were female. "Show the faces of the traitors!" Warriors ran up removing the sacks from their faces. As soon as they were exposed Deganawatha's eyes met with on of the bound men.
Kateri the man from his village, was bound his eyes eyes burned hate into Deganawatha's chest. He had two small children, and another coming soon. Deganawatha's mind returned to when they had spoken during the Algonquin war. Theyanoguin took a large wood and skin-stone club from a near by ledge.
"I will not tolerate this treachery." He nudged one of the women bound before him. She let out a small scream, rivers of tears of fear pored down her face. She tried to reach out to take Kateri's hand, who tried to take hers as well.
"No." Deganawatha thought. He had to do something, he wanted to do something. But his legs locked, and his heart pounded in his chest so hard he was afraid others could hear it beating.
Theyanoguin placed the ball of the club at the back of the woman's skull. Kateri stood, lunging himself at Theyanoguin. But he was stopped by the wall that was Kirit. He forced the smaller man back to his knees.
"It seems..." Theyanoguin said turning to face the Great Longhouse. "that we have volunteer." They went and stood behind the man from Buckallon. Kateri looked up again. His eyes, forcing all his hate into Deganawatha's soul, nearly looking as though he were snarling at his fellow Onondaga.
Theyanoguin raised the club high above his head......
Cuāuhtemōc
Banned
Come on Deganawatha! Get your shit together! Make a stand and stop Theyanoguin from killing Kateri and the women!
411 GP/Great Peace (1732 A.D.)
He didn't move. No one had. Warriors, Chiefs, Holy Men and Women could only sit and watch as Theyanoguin...
Deganawatha forced the image from his mind again, but it quickly returned to dominate his thoughts. He jolted upright in the Longhouse of the Wordmaker clan. Looking around as the fires burned down he could see the others still asleep. Several families had come to join the Wordmaker Clan in the last Moons. Orenda made a small sound as she moved closer cuddling up to her husband. Slowly Deganawatha moved from the bed and out into the cold night air, taking a tomahawk at his side. He had to do something. Theyanoguin was insane. He would destroy the Haudenosaunee if he could not be stopped. He would drag them into oblivion never to be seen in this world again.
Rubbing his eyes Deganawatha tried yet again to force the image of the executions from his head. Looking up into the village centre his eyes focused seeing the Priest Ohstahehte leaving through the gates flanked by two Kanien'gehaga guards. Ohstahehte, one of Theyanoguin's most trusted men. One oh the men that brought this travesty upon the Confederacy. One of the pillars holding Theyanoguin in place, in heights before unresearched in history or story. Deganawatha watched the men for a short time longer. Then, almost with out thought of his intentions, he returned into the Longhouse and found his bow and several bone arrows. He painted his face with charcoal, binding back his hair and coving his skin in armour. He would kill the tree by attacking the roots.
Silently Deganawatha moved though the thick woods. They would follow the road, where it was safe this deep into Haudenosaunee lands. But that would leave them well into the open. He knew he would need to be fast. Ohstahehte being who he was to Theyanoguin would be protected by some of the greatest warriors that could be offered. Degnawatha followed along behind them for a time, staying low and staying hidden, but not once losing site of his target. Running along a fallen tree he crossed over a small stream finely getting ahead of them. He stood with a his back to a tree, notching an arrow he let all the air and fear free from his lungs. He could hear the mean freely speaking, giving way their positions as they neared.
"...that's all really." The priest said as the two Kanien'gehaga laughed hardily.
"How long have you and the Karahkwa been sharing this one?"
"Well, she is mine really. We've been together since we we're kids on the elders heels. But, its good to share with close friends sometimes. It isn't as though she is the only one." The three men laughed again. Deganawatha rolled along his back fired off a single arrow and then feel back again rolling along a second tree. He heard one of the guards stumble and falls with sounds of strained bloodied breaths. No one had improved the armour around the neck yet.
"What was that? You! Defend me!" Deganawatha glanced out from behind a tree watching as Ohstahehte fell behind his one remaining guard. The man held a tomahawk in one hand and a small skin-stone knife in the other. He scanned the forest but could not seem to see Degnawatha. Again he let out a breath rolling on his back he exposed himself to the man and the night. Before he could react he let lose a second arrow which cut trough the night air finding the Kanien'gehaga's eye. He crumbled like a stone on a hill. Leaving Deganawatha and the priest standing staring the other down. Dropping his bow taking his first steps into the moon light Deganawtha removed his tomahawk from his belt, his eyes never leaving the eyes of his target.
The priest scrambled along the dirt road until finally standing holding the skin-stone dagger. "Stop! STOP! I SAID STOP! You Wyandot scum! I know- I know how to use this!" The knife shook in his hands as fear started too over whelm the younger man. Deganawatha simply walked forward never looking away from his eyes. The man had likely never seen battle, never killed in his life. "Stop! I... I...." The fear was slowly replaced by confusion, and betrayal. "You." He asked. "You?" His eyes widened as he spat the question a second time. "What? Why? We're on the same side! We're on the same-" Deganawatha's tomahawk finished the man's sentence for him. He struck once. Only once, keeping with in him is hate and rage to be let lose on Theyanoguin when the chance came. For now, his quest had started, there were many roots that must be cleaved before the tree would fall.
"But the tree will fall." He thought to himself. "As surly as the eagle stalks the rat. The tree will fall."
He didn't move. No one had. Warriors, Chiefs, Holy Men and Women could only sit and watch as Theyanoguin...
Deganawatha forced the image from his mind again, but it quickly returned to dominate his thoughts. He jolted upright in the Longhouse of the Wordmaker clan. Looking around as the fires burned down he could see the others still asleep. Several families had come to join the Wordmaker Clan in the last Moons. Orenda made a small sound as she moved closer cuddling up to her husband. Slowly Deganawatha moved from the bed and out into the cold night air, taking a tomahawk at his side. He had to do something. Theyanoguin was insane. He would destroy the Haudenosaunee if he could not be stopped. He would drag them into oblivion never to be seen in this world again.
Rubbing his eyes Deganawatha tried yet again to force the image of the executions from his head. Looking up into the village centre his eyes focused seeing the Priest Ohstahehte leaving through the gates flanked by two Kanien'gehaga guards. Ohstahehte, one of Theyanoguin's most trusted men. One oh the men that brought this travesty upon the Confederacy. One of the pillars holding Theyanoguin in place, in heights before unresearched in history or story. Deganawatha watched the men for a short time longer. Then, almost with out thought of his intentions, he returned into the Longhouse and found his bow and several bone arrows. He painted his face with charcoal, binding back his hair and coving his skin in armour. He would kill the tree by attacking the roots.
Silently Deganawatha moved though the thick woods. They would follow the road, where it was safe this deep into Haudenosaunee lands. But that would leave them well into the open. He knew he would need to be fast. Ohstahehte being who he was to Theyanoguin would be protected by some of the greatest warriors that could be offered. Degnawatha followed along behind them for a time, staying low and staying hidden, but not once losing site of his target. Running along a fallen tree he crossed over a small stream finely getting ahead of them. He stood with a his back to a tree, notching an arrow he let all the air and fear free from his lungs. He could hear the mean freely speaking, giving way their positions as they neared.
"...that's all really." The priest said as the two Kanien'gehaga laughed hardily.
"How long have you and the Karahkwa been sharing this one?"
"Well, she is mine really. We've been together since we we're kids on the elders heels. But, its good to share with close friends sometimes. It isn't as though she is the only one." The three men laughed again. Deganawatha rolled along his back fired off a single arrow and then feel back again rolling along a second tree. He heard one of the guards stumble and falls with sounds of strained bloodied breaths. No one had improved the armour around the neck yet.
"What was that? You! Defend me!" Deganawatha glanced out from behind a tree watching as Ohstahehte fell behind his one remaining guard. The man held a tomahawk in one hand and a small skin-stone knife in the other. He scanned the forest but could not seem to see Degnawatha. Again he let out a breath rolling on his back he exposed himself to the man and the night. Before he could react he let lose a second arrow which cut trough the night air finding the Kanien'gehaga's eye. He crumbled like a stone on a hill. Leaving Deganawatha and the priest standing staring the other down. Dropping his bow taking his first steps into the moon light Deganawtha removed his tomahawk from his belt, his eyes never leaving the eyes of his target.
The priest scrambled along the dirt road until finally standing holding the skin-stone dagger. "Stop! STOP! I SAID STOP! You Wyandot scum! I know- I know how to use this!" The knife shook in his hands as fear started too over whelm the younger man. Deganawatha simply walked forward never looking away from his eyes. The man had likely never seen battle, never killed in his life. "Stop! I... I...." The fear was slowly replaced by confusion, and betrayal. "You." He asked. "You?" His eyes widened as he spat the question a second time. "What? Why? We're on the same side! We're on the same-" Deganawatha's tomahawk finished the man's sentence for him. He struck once. Only once, keeping with in him is hate and rage to be let lose on Theyanoguin when the chance came. For now, his quest had started, there were many roots that must be cleaved before the tree would fall.
"But the tree will fall." He thought to himself. "As surly as the eagle stalks the rat. The tree will fall."
Last edited: